


Modern Love

by KawaiiPandaDesu



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-09-11 09:17:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 32,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8973865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KawaiiPandaDesu/pseuds/KawaiiPandaDesu
Summary: “Donghyuck, I’ve been in love with Jeno since I was fourteen years old.”It’s out there, now, and he can’t take it back. Donghyuck doesn’t even seem to react, simply staring up at him with his undivided attention, his lips parted ever-so-slightly, perhaps in shock.“I never told him, so I don’t have any right. I’ve been in love with Jeno for almost half my life and I didn’t tell him. I think that makes me the world’s most ridiculous person.“I accepted that I wasn’t going to end up with him, because he never showed any interest in me, whatsoever. I was still in love with him, but I was content to just love him.“And then you showed up, and stupidly I thought, hey, here’s a guy who’s funny and charming and pretty damn attractive. Let’s fall in love with him too.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Posted here with the permission of my friend, the co-author of this story.
> 
> Proof-read AGAIN as of 06/03/17. Apologies for the mistakes guys
> 
> Inspired by 'Angel of Mine' by Monica and 'Through The Fire' by Chaka Khan
> 
> (Donghyuck/Jaemin/Jeno + Child!Jisung)
> 
> WARNING: Aged-up characters, Cursing involved, Hints of sexual content.  
> 30k+ words.

When the banging on his door gets too loud for him to ignore, Donghyuck rolls out of bed and stumbles in the direction of his flat’s entrance hall. On the way, he mildly thinks about how exactly he’s going to murder the person at his door.

It’s not even nine am yet, according to the clock on the wall, and he grits his teeth.

Yanking the door open, he blinks in surprise. He looks at the woman with an overstuffed baby bag and purse on one hand and a small child on the other, then frowns. “Can I help you?”

The woman says, “You probably don’t remember me, but we met almost two years ago.”

He looks at her, trying to remember her as he takes in her petite frame and bright red hair, but fails to and shrugs. She could be anyone from the number of women he's ever met. “Sorry, I don’t remember you.”

She sighs. “Figures.” Glancing over his shoulder into his flat, she asks, “Can I come in? We need to talk.”

He hesitates, but in the end steps aside to let her in. He contemplates whether he should offer to carry one of her heavier bags, but decides against it when she walks right pass him without a word. As she follows Donghyuck’s direction, she walks down the short hallway to the front room. “I’m Yerim, by the way.” she says. The little boy trails along beside her, lagging behind and having to be carried in.

As she sit down on the sofa, the woman pulls the young boy onto her knee. “This is Jisung,” Yerim tells Donghyuck, who is starting to get a really bad feeling. “He’s a little over one.”

Donghyuck regards them both warily, and Yerim sighs. “He’s yours, Donghyuck.”

Time seems to stop as Donghyuck stares at the little boy in the woman’s arms. Jisung glances between his mother and Donghyuck, wide-eyed and unaware. “Oh, God,” Donghyuck whispers. “Are you sure?”

“I’m positive,” Yerim answers. “But we can do a paternity test if you want to make sure.”

He shakes his head, distractedly, unable to tear his eyes away from the child who is apparently his. Oh God, he created him. He gave him life. This little boy came from him. Little Jisung’s hair is dark and curly, just like his, and he has their dark eyes that you can fall into. “Why- Do you want- I mean, what's your reason for telling me now?”

At this, Yerim shifts uncomfortably in her seat, and Donghyuck’s heart picks up speed. “I can’t keep him,” is Yerim’s reply, at last, and Donghyuck squeezes his eyes shut, praying to every deity out there that this is not happening. “My job- I don’t have time to raise him like I want to. I tried, I really did, but I’m just not cut out to be a mother. Donghyuck, please, I can’t give him the care he needs. All his life, he’s just been passed from nanny to nanny, and that’s not what I want for him. You’re a good man, Donghyuck, I know you are. That night we spent together, well, I just got the impression that you… cared more than most men I've slept with.”

Donghyuck stares at her in disbelief, “Yerim-ah, I’m poor, I don’t have the money.”

“I’m not poor, I’ll help pay for the child, I just can’t be in his life,” she says immediately. “I wouldn’t ask if I thought there was a way for me to keep him.” She shifts her child onto the sofa beside her as she roots through her purse. Pulling out a wad of notes, she passes them to Donghyuck. “Look, I can give you this much a month, that should cover basic costs, and if you ever are in desperate need let me know, and I can give you more.”

He looks between the money in his hand and little Jisung on the sofa. Finally, he looks back up at Yerim. “Will you visit him?”

She shakes her head. “No. I can’t. It will make me miss him too much.”

Donghyuck nods, feeling numb. “Okay,” he says weakly. “If you give me your phone number, that way we can keep in touch. Uh, I don’t- I don’t really know what to say here.”

Yerim’s face lights up. “You’ll do it? You’ll take care of him?”

Donghyuck’s in a little bit of a daze, and as if from a distance, he hears himself say, “Yes. Yes, I’ll do it. I'll take care of him.”

“Thank you so much,” Yerim breathes. Reaching out to the overstuffed bag, Yerim continues. “This has everything you need to take care of Jisung. Diapers, his clothes, bottles, baby formula and wet wipes.”

Donghyuck nods and accepts the bag. Yerim and Donghyuck with Jisung in his arms walk to the door, and with one final look Yerim plants a kiss on top of Jisung’s forehead and leaves.

\--

As soon as the front door closes, Donghyuck turns to look at Jisung. He crosses to him, smiling warmly. “Hello, Jisung. I guess I’m your daddy now.” The child babbles incoherently as if he understood his father.

Donghyuck sighs, feeling completely lost.

He does what he always does in an emergency: he calls Seungwan.

Seungwan is pretty much the only friend he has at present and is usually very good at staying calm throughout his various crises. However, when she shows up at his door, and takes one look at his son, her reaction is, “Well, fuck.”

Donghyuck gives her a hard look. “Do we really want him growing up learning words like that?”

Seungwan nearly screeches. “Donghyuck! You cannot be a father!”

He groans loudly. “You think I don’t know that?” he asks her, sounding as desperate as he feels. “Will you help me?”

She wraps her arms around him, resting her chin on his head. “Of course I will, idiot.”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

It's been five years and Donghyuck doesn't know how he's done it.

“Papa! Papa!” Jisung cries out happily as he runs out of the school. Donghyuck bends down to scoop him up into his arms, spinning him round. His dark curly hair is combed down for the most part, a few curls springing free wildly at the back just like Donghyuck’s when he doesn't bother to brush his own down.

“Hey, Sungie, how was your day?” He asks him with a smile.

“Long,” is his deadly serious answer. Donghyuck laughs at his solemn expression and plants a kiss on his cheek.

“Well, how about we stop for ice cream on the way home?”

His small face lights up at the prospect, and he nods his head excitedly. Setting Jisung down on the ground, Donghyuck takes his bag off him with one hand, slipping the strap of the small rucksack over his shoulder and taking Jisung's hand with the other.

They make their way down the street. Now six, Jisung can talk for days, and he keeps up a running commentary on his day, telling his papa all about the boy, Chenle, who played with him, and the girl, Hyeyeon, who showed him how to draw a tree.

Donghyuck listens avidly, nodding along with his words and answering with questions about things that happened. Jisung obliges, gladly filling him in on all the things he missed out on.

It had been the boy's first day of primary school, and there were plenty of new people to tell his papa about.

Donghyuck buys Jisung a strawberry ice cream and a chocolate one for himself. They sit on a bench at the side of a street as they eat them.

“How do you feel about staying at Auntie Seungwan's tonight, my love?” Donghyuck asks Jisung, and his son’s ecstatic.

“Yes!” He says, “Will Renjun hyung be there? And Sooyoung noona?”

Donghyuck says that they will, and it excites Jisung for the upcoming plan.

As soon as they get back to Donghyuck’s flat – still the same one that he first met his son in – he darts off to his room to pack a bag. Donghyuck flops onto the sofa, tiredly. He has an art commission that he really needs to get done, hence why he asked Seungwan to look after Jisung for one night.

The two of them take the bus over to Seungwan’s house, and as soon as they get there, Jisung is swept away by Renjun and Sooyoung, with nothing more than a, “Bye, Papa!” called over his shoulder.

Seungwan smiles at him. “I’ll take good care of him; you go get some work done.”

He nods, gives her a quick hug and a peck on the cheek, and bids her goodbye.

\--

Eight hours later, Donghyuck discovers that he doesn’t have any coffee in his house. 1am and there’s no coffee.

Honestly, this is a fucking travesty.

He could do with a break anyway, Donghyuck decides; he’s been working solidly for almost a couple of hours. Pulling on a jacket, he instinctively heads to check on Jisung, before remembering that he’s with Seungwan.

Shaking his head in amazement at himself, he sets off to his favourite twenty-four hour coffee shop.

It’s cold out on the street, but the café is warm in comparison. He nods at the man behind the counter before ordering a black coffee.

There are only two other people in the café, sitting together at a small table and talking so intensely that Donghyuck thinks they might have forgotten about their drinks.

Donghyuck flops into a booth, taking a large swig of the scalding hot coffee. Rubbing at his eyes, he thinks that maybe he should have just gone to sleep instead.

He gets up to go back to the counter and ask if he can get his coffee to go instead – he knows it’s annoying, he’s worked as a barista, but he really doesn’t want to sit in this café tonight. The problem is, as he passes the table where the two people sat at, he doesn’t spot the bag next to it.

He trips, landing sprawled onto the floor, shouting curse words at the top of his voice as his drink shoots out of his hand and spills all over the floor.

A pair of hands grab hold of him, heaving him to his feet. “Oh, my God, are you okay?” a voice asks.

Donghyuck rubs at his knee, and then at his elbow, and winces. “Well, I’ve been better, but I’ve also been worse.”

The person laughs, and Donghyuck looks up to see a black haired man smiling at him, still holding onto him. Donghyuck glances down at his hands, and the man pulls them away quickly, hastily apologising.

Donghyuck shrugs. “Thanks for helping me up.”

“Would you like me to buy you a new coffee?” the man asks, seemingly genuine.

Donghyuck shakes his head, “No, it’s fine, I can get my own.”

“If you’re sure,” the stranger says, dubiously. “I’m really sorry for leaving my bag there. I should be more careful where I’m leaving my stuff.”

“It’s okay,” Donghyuck tells him, starting to subtly shuffle in the direction of the counter, seeking an end to the conversation.

The guy gets the hint almost instantly, saying, “Have a nice night,” and sitting back down at the table, immediately turning back to his friend, who has unusually shiny, brown hair.

Donghyuck apologises to the worker for the mess and orders another black coffee, this time to go.

On the walk home, he considers throwing the coffee away, since all he wants to do is sleep now, but that would be two coffee’s worth of money just gone, so he drinks it. It doesn’t give him much of a caffeine kick anyway.

His bed is warm and soft, and he’s asleep within minutes.

\--

He spends most of the morning finishing off the piece, and as soon as he’s done, he calls Seungwan to check on Jisung. As he talks on the phone, he’s cutting up lettuce for a salad, and when he's told him that his little boy drew all over Sooyoung with a sharpie, Donghyuck’s attention slips – and so does his knife.

“Fuck!” he screams, dropping the phone and clutching at his hand.

On the other end of the line he can hear Seungwan calling his name, and he grabs at the phone, “Noona, I'm gonna have to call you back, oh, fuck, can you look after Jisung a little longer? I’ll text you.” Then he hangs up and drops his phone again.

The red line cuts deep into his finger, and it’s bleeding profusely. He grabs a towel off the side, holding it down on the cut and curses. As he peeks at it, he decides it’s best to go to the hospital, just to be sure. He doesn’t think it’s a good idea to drive, though, and he’s sure the bus won’t let him on, and he sure as hell doesn’t have the money for a taxi, so he ends up walking all the way to the hospital.

The cut doesn't stop bleeding, and by the time he makes it there, the towel is soaked in blood. He heads straight for reception. “Hi, I think someone should look at my hand; it’s won't stop bleeding,” he says, in a voice that’s much calmer than he’s feeling.

It’s not long before a nurse takes him to a doctor to get it looked at. The doctor’s name badge reads Lee Jeno, and he’s friendly, keeping Donghyuck calm as he examines the wound. “Alright, this needs stitches, so we’re going to get that done as quickly as we can,” he informs Donghyuck with a smile.

Donghyuck nods weakly, muttering, “Oh, God,” under his breath at the thought of someone poking a needle through his flesh.

“Are you okay?” the doctor asks, noting his pallor.

Donghyuck nods again. “Yes, yes, fine, no problem, I have no problem with you sticking a needle into my hand, none at all, nope, it’s okay.”

The doctor, Jeno, is clearly trying to fight a smile, and Donghyuck partially thinks it’s unprofessional and that it’s the cutest thing he’s seen in a fully grown adult, possibly ever. “I’ll get it done quickly, you don’t even have to look,” Jeno informs him.

Donghyuck looks at him, and he knows that he’s trembling. “Okay,” he says, faintly.

Jeno, to his credit, hides the needle until he’s told Donghyuck to look away. Donghyuck both turns his head and squeezes his eyes shut.

“I’ll be as quick as I can,” Jeno says again, and Donghyuck nods.

True to his word, he works fast and efficient, and Donghyuck is unbelievably grateful, even if he does spend the whole time wincing and keeping his eyes screwed shut. He keeps breathing in sharply every time he feels the needle in his skin. He knows he’s being pathetic – it’s not as if it hurts – but he can’t help but feel uncomfortable with the idea of it.

Eventually he feels a tug, and then Jeno says delicately, “Alright, I’m done.”

Donghyuck lets out a breath heavily. “Okay, and you're sure that it’s not gonna like, I don’t know, come undone, or anything? Not that I don’t trust you to do your job, but, like, I can’t go through that again so, I mean-”

“I promise you, sir, that you’re going to be fine,” Jeno tells him, seriously.

Donghyuck giggles, almost hysterically. “Sir,” he repeats.

Jeno raises an eyebrow at him. “I don’t remember giving you any sort of drugs.”

“No, sorry. I just... don’t like needles,” Donghyuck admits, and Jeno grins.

“Really? I couldn’t tell,” the doctor says.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes as he gets to his feet. “So, am I good to go, then?”

“You’re good to go,” Jeno tells him. “Make sure to come back if there are any problems. Not that I think there will be,” he adds, hastily.

Donghyuck eyes him suspiciously. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Jeno laughs. “Now go, I’m sure you have a busy life to be getting back to, now that you’re not bleeding out.”

Donghyuck’s mind immediately turns to Jisung. “Oh, shit,” he says. “Yes, I do. Thank you for, well, stitching me back together, see you around, Jeno.”

Jeno gives him another smile as Donghyuck heads for the exit. He gets a bus straight to Seungwan’s, and when she opens the door he says, “I just met the fucking Sex God of doctors.”

She grins, and says, “Really? Sex talk when the kids are in the house?”

He laughs. “Well, they gotta know some day.”

She lets him in and he fills her in on what he did to his hand and all about Doctor Jeno. Sitting back in her chair in the kitchen she laughs, “Are you going to see him again? Ooh, maybe I should, like, fake an injury and go check him out.”

As Donghyuck rolls his eyes and opens his mouth to reply, Jisung comes scampering into the kitchen. “Papa!” he says. “You’re here!”

“Hey, Sungie,” Donghyuck says with a smile, pulling him up onto his knee. He smiles up at him and pats him on the shoulder. He shakes his head, fondly. “You’re a very grown up six year old,” he tells him.

He nods along, grinning. “Yep, Park-seonsaengnim said that, too,”

Seungwan laughs. “I can see him growing up to be just like you, Hyuckie. Reading the biography of Frida Kahlo for fun, while looking up abstract expressionism in his spare time.”

“Well,” Donghyuck replies, smiling down at his little boy, who’s beaming proudly at being compared to his papa, “as long as he only takes that part of me, I would be very pleased indeed.”

Jisung looks up at him. “Are we going home, now, Papa?”

“Yes we are, my love,” he answers, giving Jisung a kiss on the top of his head. “Oh, wait, what was that about a sharpie?” he remembers suddenly.

“Sooyoung noona said I could do it!” Jisung defends himself instantly.

Donghyuck sighs but Seungwan merely shrugs. “Sharpie comes off,” she says with a dismissive wave of her hand, “eventually. Go home, Donghyuck.”

They walk home, Donghyuck holding onto Jisung’s hand tightly, while he merrily points out the shapes of clouds and small little birds flittering about overhead. He’s walking slowly, too slowly for Donghyuck’s taste, so he crouches down for Jisung to climb onto his shoulders and picks up the speed, holding his little boy’s ankles while he grips on to his hair, giggling.

They make it home in record time and he drops him onto the sofa while he goes to make dinner.

That night, Jisung crawls into bed with him, informing him in a very straightforward manner that he’s certain there’s something in his room and he would rather sleep in here. Donghyuck tugs his son close under the covers, and Jisung curls up to his chest, saying, “Night Papa,” quietly.

“Night Sungie,” Donghyuck replies.


	3. Chapter 3

Lying on the sofa, Jaemin’s eyes start to drift shut. His laptop’s still whirring away on his stomach, the screen showing a word document opened and an almost finished essay on the screen. He drifts off to sleep, lazily thinking that this can – though shouldn’t – be finished later. Because of Jeno, he’s getting better at getting full nights of sleep, and knowing when to take a break. Though really he doesn’t think Jeno has any right to say what the proper amount of sleep is.

His eyes fly open at the sound of Jeno sighing heavily, and he's on his feet in seconds, cursing loudly. “I'm so sorry, I'm going now,” he blurts out, as Jeno looks at him with a tired smile.

Jeno waves it off. “Don't bother, I'll do it tomorrow.”

Jaemin internally slaps himself. “No, you've had a long day and you asked me to do this. I can still do it.”

“Thanks,” Jeno replies, moving to flop down on the sofa.

He’d almost completely forgotten that he’d promised Jeno that he’d do the shopping, since Jeno had just finished a 42 hour shift at the hospital.

He ruffles Jeno’s hair, smiling down at him. “It’s nice to have you back.”

Jeno smiles back at him and Jaemin feels warmer inside. As he pulls on a jacket, he looks back over at Jeno. “We don’t have to go out with the others tonight,” he tells him. “You seem exhausted; if you want to stay in, I’m sure they’ll understand.”

Jeno shakes his head. “No, it’s fine. I’ll just sleep between now and then. We’ve got what? Five hours? That’ll be fine.”

Jaemin laughs at his best friend’s determination to make people happy and says, “Well, if you change your mind, we can stay in and carry on marathoning Pinocchio.”

Jeno genuinely looks tempted by that offer, and Jaemin half hopes that he’ll agree to it. If only as an excuse for him to spend the night curled up on the sofa with Jeno. He’s not sure when exactly he fell in love with his best friend – one of his best friends – but he knows the exact moment he realised it.

They’d been fourteen at the time, and Jeno had come bursting into his room unannounced to tell him all about this beautiful breed of butterfly that he'd just found out about, pulling print-outs from his bag to show him. He’d gone into detail about the intricacies of its markings. He’d then proceeded to yank his t-shirt down, showing the area just below his collarbone and informing Jaemin that he was going to get it tattooed there when he turned eighteen.

Jaemin laughed, looking back at his friend with his excitable expression, still with his shirt tugged down, and thought ‘damn. I’m in love.'

He never told Jeno though. Jeno had never shown the slightest interest in him. Though he had liked Minhyung for a while, Jaemin didn’t want to ruin the close friendship they had by confessing to his feelings.

For a while, he’d wonder if he was just getting confused between his love for his friend and romantic love, but he knew that what he felt for Minhyung wasn't anywhere near close enough to how he felt for Jeno.

It took Jaemin years to come to terms with these feelings and to learn how to control himself around Jeno. But now, he doesn’t mind that he’ll never be anything more to Jeno than what he is now, his best friend. Sometimes, when he’s tired, or drunk, he’ll find himself wondering if they could be more, if Jeno could think of him the way he thinks of Jeno.

Walking down the street, he forces himself to push those thoughts aside. Jeno is one of his best friends, and he couldn’t ask for more.

He’s in a rush as he enters the small grocery store, wanting to get back to Jeno to make sure he’s alright, and... okay, just to be around him. 42 hours without someone else living in your apartment is odd, and even more so when you’re as inseparable as Jeno and Jaemin. He knows they can be a little co-dependent; they and Minhyung had hardly left each other’s sides when they were in secondary education, but they are slowly growing up. Minhyung no longer lives with them, instead living with Taeil, and Jeno is a grown-up with a proper job.

Grabbing a box of Jeno’s cereal off the side, he scans the shelves for his own brand. He makes a disappointed noise at the out-of-stock sign where they should be, and goes for the second best.

He heads down the next isle, moving quickly and looking up and down the shelves for the cheap chocolate spread (just because Jeno has an addiction, doesn’t mean he’s going to spend all their money on it), when he crashes into someone. He skitters back a few paces and almost drops his shopping when a hand grabs his shirt and hauls him upright.

“I’m so sorry,” the person exclaims, and Jaemin looks up at them. He struggles to string together a coherent thought in the face of the stranger with the dark, concerned eyes. He pushes his hair back from his face as he stares, before finally pulling himself together and managing to get out an apology too.

“I think it was my fault,” he tells the stranger. “I wasn’t really watching where I was going.” He can feel a blush coming on, under the stranger’s gaze.

“That makes two of us,” he jokes, and it startles a laugh out of Jaemin. The dark eyed man smiles and Jaemin thinks that he looks beautiful. The thought shocks him a little and he quickly makes an excuse, telling man that he’s in a rush – which he is.

“Me too,” the stranger with the lovely eyes replies, and yet neither of them move anywhere.

Jaemin then embarrasses himself by trying to say that he really should go; only succeeding in stuttering out a few half-formed sentences.

Dark eyes grins at him and asks, “Are you always this articulate?”

Jaemin wants to tell him that he’s normally very articulate, and that he doesn’t know what’s going on, but he can’t, and the stranger continues to smile. Jaemin is pretty sure he’s blushing, now. The stranger apologises for keeping him before ducking around him and continuing on his way, wishing Jaemin a good day.

“Yeah,” Jaemin says, blinking. “You too.”

The stranger’s smile seems to have woken a thousand butterflies in his stomach, and it’s odd, because no one’s made him feel like that since… Well, since Jeno. It’s new, and more than a little bit scary.

He finishes his shopping, and he’d be lying if he pretended that he didn’t spend half the time keeping an eye out for the mystery stranger. More than anything, he wants to know his name, and perhaps his phone number.

By the time he gets back to Jeno he’s feeling more than a little confused, but at the sight of Jeno asleep on the sofa, he wonders how he could ever love anyone more than he loves the man in front of him.

After putting the groceries away neatly, he goes and sits down at the end of the sofa, picking up his laptop again and re-opening the document. One of his hands idly goes to rest on Jeno’s ankle, gently rubbing it as he reads over what he’s written.

He’s been trying to get a job at the university for a while, now, and to keep up the practise of being able to write and grade essays, he keeps looking up the syllabus and writing essays about the topics. It’s just for fun, nothing more, and Jeno and Minhyung thinks him a little mad for it.

When it starts getting on towards 6pm he gets up to make Jeno and himself some dinner before they go out. When the pasta’s almost completely cooked, simmering on the stove with a cheese sauce poured over it, he goes to carefully shake Jeno awake.

Jeno blinks up at him, and Jaemin wants to kiss him. He’s had a lot of practice at restraining himself however, so he just smiles. “Come on, sleepy, dinner’s ready.” He passes Jeno a hot cloth to wipe his face, standing up and stretching. His shirt rides up a little, and Jaemin forces himself to avert his eyes.

His friend falls into a chair at the dining table while he serves up their food. “Are you sure you want to go? My offer still stands,” Jaemin reminds him.

Jeno chuckles. “I’m starting to think that you don’t want to go, Nana.”

Jaemin simply rolls his eyes at him – a bad habit he picked up off Minhyung and never managed to shake; Jeno hardly ever rolls his eyes, ever the perfect individual – and says, “I’m just making sure you get enough sleep.”

“Thank you,” Jeno says, taking a bite of pasta, “but I'm okay, and I really would like to go tonight.”

Jaemin smiles. “Alright.”

\--

When Donghyuck arrives back in his flat he dumps the groceries in the kitchen, putting the select few things into the freezer, and then joins Jisung on the sofa.

When he’d first had Jisung handed over to him, he honestly hadn’t thought that he’d be very good at being a dad. Now, however, five years on, he’s the best thing to ever happen to him. His mother, true to her word, sends monthly amounts of money, straight to his bank account, and once when it was getting a little thin, he asked and she gave him extra.

Jisung’s mother isn’t a bad person, just one who couldn’t be a parent. From what Donghyuck can tell, she’s some big-shot lawyer – a child really wasn’t on the floor plan.

Donghyuck couldn’t be happier that she hadn’t wanted to raise Jisung – sure, he had to stop going out and drinking, but that was mostly a good thing, and yes he rarely gets to watch his shows on the TV, and okay, sometimes it’s tiring being a dad, but mostly, it’s the best thing in the world.

His little boy is the most important thing to him, and he gives him everything he can to make him happy.

When he gets a text from Sicheng, he nudges Jisung. "Hey, fancy going to see Uncle Sicheng at the gym?"

He gets to his feet immediately with a wide grin, and Donghyuck takes that to be a yes. He grabs his gym clothes and packs a bag of snacks for Jisung to eat while he sits at the side. When he gets to the door, he’s standing there with his coat already on and his boots laced, clutching a book in his hands. Once again, he wonders when he got so grown up. 'You’re six,' he wants to cry. 'Be a child, please.'

As soon as they get to the gym, Sicheng runs over, scooping the younger up into his arms and spinning him round. Setting him down, he measures Jisung up against him. He barely comes up to his thigh, but he still crows, “Wow, Jisungie, you’re getting tall.”

He beams up at him and reaches for his hair. He can’t reach, so he crouches down so that he can tug on it. “And your hair is looking really cool,” he tells the younger. He laughs and uses his index fingers to maneuver the fringe out the way.

“When are you gonna start working out here instead of just tagging along with your papa, Jisungie?” Sicheng asks him.

“Papa says that I have to get a bit older before you can teach me to punch a- Wait, Papa, what word was it you used?”

Donghyuck laughs as his son turns his attention back to him. “I’d like to think it was something appropriate, but knowing me, it was probably ‘dickhead’”

Sicheng laughs his booming laugh, and ruffles Jisung’s hair. “Right, Donghyuck, you gonna spar with me or what?”

Donghyuck grins and pulls off his shirt. Eooting around in his bag for his workout one, he says, “You’re going down, hyung.”

Sicheng grins. “You’ve never managed before. I don't see why today will be any different.”

Jisung rolls his eyes and wanders away to sit and read his book. On his way, he picks up his papa’s bag and drags it with him across the floor.

Donghyuck cracks his knuckles, facing off Sicheng and Sicheng grins, animal-like. “It’s been too long since you came for a fight, Donghyuck,” Sicheng tells him as they start to eye each other up, stretching to warm up their muscles. 

“You try being a dad,” Donghyuck answers as he lunges forwards, swinging his fist round at Sicheng's side.

Sicheng deflects the move easily, swinging back in retaliation, and his knuckles make contact with Donghyuck’s side. Donghyuck breathes out sharply, but darts backwards, keeping on his toes.

It quickly becomes clear that Donghyuck’s a little rusty, but as they work, he improves steadily, until he’s solidly getting in a few punches.

By the time they stop, Donghyuck’s fists ache a little, and they’ve both worked up a fine sweat. They grab a drink together, flopping down onto the floor near Jisung and stretching. “Hey, Hyuckie, I’m meeting up with a few friends for drinks later, if you want to join us.”

Donghyuck glances across at Jisung and grimaces. “I’d love to, hyung, but I don’t want to ask Seungwan noona to babysit again. That girl deserves a break.”

“Hire a sitter, Donghyuck. You need a break, too.”

Donghyuck nods slowly. “Where am I going to find a decent sitter on such short notice?” he asks, though, sounding very tired.

“I could ask my sister to do it? I’m sure she’d be willing,” Sicheng offers.

“Are you sure?” Donghyuck asks, sceptical.

“Let me call her.”

The conversation between Sicheng and his sister doesn’t last long, and then Donghyuck has a word with her. They arrange what time she’ll come round tonight, and Donghyuck promises to have cooked for them.

The prospect of a night out is wonderful, and when he and Jisung leave the gym, it’s with a smile on his face.

\--

Jeno yawns widely as they walk into the cafe and Jaemin wants to take him home and put him to bed. Jeno catches the wary look Jaemin is giving him and says, “Don’t. I’m fine.”

He gives Jaemin a big smile and widens his eyes so that he looks more awake, and Jaemin laughs.

“Let’s get some alcohol in you,” Jaemin says, heading for the bar with Jeno trailing along behind.

After buying their drinks, they set about dragging a bunch of tables together for when the others arrive and just as they’re finishing up, Minhyung and Taeil enter.

Minhyung bounds across to them, grabbing them around their necks, and pulls them in for a hug. Jeno and Jaemin catch each other’s eyes and make a face, but they return the hug, gripping their best friend tightly. Minhyung lets them go, beaming up at them, and Jaemin grins back.

Minhyung never had that phase where one is 'too cool' for enthusiasm – he's always been a bubble of excitement, and Jaemin doesn't think that will ever change.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping, Jeno?” Taeil asks with a frown at the man in question.

“That’s what I tried to tell him-” Jaemin tries to say, but Jeno shuts him up by knocking him with his hip.

“No, what you tried to tell me was that we should marathon Pinocchio instead,” Jeno points out before turning away from Jaemin’s indignant expression to say to Taeil, “I’m fine. I got a good four hours earlier and I can sleep in tomorrow.”

Jaemin gives a disapproving shake of his head as he sits down at the table, patting the chair next to him for Jeno to follow suit. Taeil sits down with them while Minhyung disappears to get them drinks.

Pretty soon, everyone has arrived. Seulgi especially disapproves of Jeno’s presence, but contents herself by giving him a quick telling off before wrapping him in a hug and kindly saying, “Just get plenty of sleep tonight.”

Jaemin watches as Jeno fights the urge to snap at Seulgi to tell her that he is fine, and Jaemin laughs. Jeno glares at Jaemin, which only succeeds at making him laugh more. “I’m sorry, you’re just very cute when you’re angry,” Jaemin teases.

Jeno sticks out his tongue at him and Jaemin's laughs brightens. At every moment, Jaemin feels as if he’s on the edge of saying ‘I love you’, but he never does and he never will. He has too much self-control for that.

Jaemin notices him the moment he walks through the door, and his eyes widen slightly. What is he doing here? Does he always come here? Has he just never noticed the beautiful dark eyed man before? When Sicheng jumps to his feet and rushes over to the man to pull him into what looks like a very rough hug, Jaemin’s confusion and surprise only increases.

He turns back to Jeno and Minhyung, trying to pay attention to what they’re talking about, and not the dark-haired man who’s being brought over to their table.

Sicheng interrupts them all, calling out, “Everyone, this is Donghyuck,” over their conversations.

Jaemin looks up, trying not to stare, but the dark-eyed man – Donghyuck – looks straight at Jeno and blurts out, “Oh my God, the hot doctor.”

Jaemin feels his face and neck heating up, glancing across at Jeno who has gone red. Jeno responds to him, a little uncomfortably, but mostly in a friendly manner, enquiring about his hand, and Jaemin peeks at Donghyuck’s hand, trying to see what is wrong with it.

When Donghyuck smiles back at Jeno, replying to him, Jaemin quickly turns to takes a large gulp of his drink and looks down at the table.

Sicheng laughs loudly at something Donghyuck said, but Jaemin didn’t quite hear what, and when he looks up, Donghyuck is clicking his fingers and pointing at Minhyung, saying, “Hot café guy.”

Minhyung laughs and says something, making Donghyuck spill his drink. The conversation quickly degenerates as Donghyuck calls Taeil the “beautiful café guy” and Minhyung and Taeil squabble over which is the better compliment. (“I’m like flowers and poetry and stars, Minhyung.” “We already knew that, hyung, but what I am is smoking, bootylicious, and on fucking fire.”)

Jaemin can’t see why it matters; they’re clearly both attractive individuals.

When Donghyuck wanders over to the bar alone, Jaemin gets out of his seat, telling Jeno he’ll be right back, and trying not to think about the twist in his gut when he realises that Jeno is staring after Donghyuck.

Jaemin moves to stand beside Donghyuck at the bar and smiles, introducing himself. “We, uh, met in the shop earlier today?” he prompts, but he can already see the recognition in Donghyuck’s pretty eyes.

Donghyuck smiles warmly, answering, “Yes, I remember you. The one with the nice eyes.” He gives Jaemin a wink, and Jaemin thinks that he’s probably flushing, feeling like he’s been caught out.

“Honestly, I thought that about you,” Jaemin says, giving Donghyuck a smile. It feels like a betrayal to Jeno, Jaemin thinks as he notices Donghyuck respond to his gentle flirting. That’s ridiculous, of course. There’s nothing between him and Jeno. No reason to feel bad.

Donghyuck offers to buy him a drink and Jaemin declines, blushing when Donghyuck calls him out on getting up just to introduce himself.

Donghyuck startles him by leaning in then, placing his lips by Jaemin’s ear and whispering into it, “We're being watched.”

Jaemin’s stomach flips as he feels Donghyuck’s warm breath against his skin, but he looks across to the table of his friends and, as Donghyuck said, most of them are staring. Jaemin considers hiding his face in his hands – or perhaps Donghyuck’s neck – in embarrassment. He manages a quiet laugh. “That’s no doubt my fault,” he says. “I’m not normally the approach-strangers type.”

Donghyuck’s eyes light up and Jaemin thinks that he is gorgeous. “Is that so?” Donghyuck asks, a teasing light entering his tone.

Jaemin bites his lip before he confirms it, trying to stop himself from grinning too much. What is this man doing to him?

They grin at each other for a moment, Jaemin trying to come up with something to say, but Donghyuck suggests they go back to the table, and Jaemin can hardly refuse, can he?

Sliding back into his seat next to Jeno he takes a large gulp of his drink again. Jeno raises an eyebrow at him. “What was that?”

“I can’t talk to new people?” Jaemin asks, getting defensive for reasons that even he doesn’t know.

“You can,” Jeno says, “but you don’t.”

Jaemin shrugs and spares a glance down the table to where Donghyuck sits, laughing with Seulgi, Kun, and Joohyun. “He just seems nice, that’s all.”

Jeno lifts his eyebrows. “He just seems nice,” he echoes. Jaemin doesn’t understand what Jeno’s trying to get at and he frowns.

“What?” he asks. Jeno gives him a look that Jaemin can’t read, and Jaemin’s forehead creases. "Are you trying to pick an argument with me over this? He’s just a guy I talked to. I met him earlier today and I went over to say hi. Do you have a problem with that?”

Jeno’s face darkens. “Of course not,” he hisses, clearly making an effort to keep his voice low. “I just think it’s odd.”

Jaemin stares at him, bewildered and feeling attacked. “Are you jealous?”

“No,” Jeno snaps at him.

“Good, because you’re not my boyfriend, Jeno,” Jaemin says, feeling a twist in his gut even as he says it, almost as though he reminded himself more than he was reminding Jeno. “I don't need you reprimanding my every action. I can talk to attractive guys if I want to,” he adds.

Jeno blatantly flinches at that, jerking back a little, and he hisses at Jaemin, “I know I’m not your boyfriend. You don’t need to remind me of that.” Jaemin isn’t even sure why they’re fighting about this, and he’s just about to do something to stop the fight when Jeno gets to his feet, saying, “I’m tired, I'm going home.”

Jaemin blinks, as though some sort of trance is broken, and he says, “Oh,” quietly.

Jeno stares back at him for a second, before looking away as he grabs his jacket and pulls it on.

Jaemin almost gets to his feet too; they rarely leave without the other. “Do you- Should I come too?” he asks, hesitantly.

Jeno’s jaw tightens a little, a muscle jumping, and he says, “No. Stay here. I’ll see you later, or tomorrow, or whenever.”

Jaemin stares after him as he leaves, feeling a little sick at the thought that he’s fighting with Jeno. They've fought before. One time they didn’t speak for days, though Jaemin can’t remember what started it now, but he still feels awful.

Minhyung leans over to him, whispering, “What just happened?”

Jaemin shrugs, sullenly, and takes another large gulp of his drink. Then he finishes off his drink and helps himself to Jeno’s too.

“Woah,” Minhyung says, sliding across into Jeno’s empty seat. “Slow down there, captain. What did you argue about?”

Jaemin considers the question, and eventually answers, “Well, I think it was about Donghyuck, but, uh, maybe not?”

Minhyung rolls his eyes. “Run me through what was said, and I’ll tell you what it was about.”

Sometimes, okay, pretty much all of the time, Jaemin is really grateful that Minhyung is his best friend.

When Jaemin is done talking, Minhyung puts on a little show about thinking super hard. Then he nods. “Remember that time I told you Jeno was in love with you and you told me to ‘fuck off’?”

Jaemin glares at him. “Don’t even say-”

“Jeno’s in love with you.”

“Fuck off,” Jaemin immediately snaps.

Minhyung laughs, patting him on the shoulder. “When I end up being right, you’re going to feel awful,” Minhyung tells him, and Jaemin rolls his eyes.

“I will walk right out of here,” he threatens.

“No you won’t,” Minhyung says with a grin, “because Jeno took your car, and you can’t get home without a lift.”

Groaning in frustration, Jaemin flicks Minhyung on the forehead, making the man snicker.

“Anyway,” Minhyung says, “the long and short is: you told a guy that’s in love with you that you find another guy attractive, and then reminded said guy that is in love with you that he is not your boyfriend. That’s why he stormed out.”

Jaemin is starting to get a little irritated at Minhyung for pushing this, although granted Minhyung doesn’t know how Jaemin feels about Jeno. “He’s not in love with me,” Jaemin stresses, “but I don’t want to fight with you too, so please stop.”

Minhyung shrugs. “Alright,” he says. He tells Jaemin to buy himself another drink and try to enjoy himself, but Jaemin no longer really feels in the mood. He could have been curled up on the sofa with Jeno right now, they wouldn’t have fought, everything would feel right, and Jaemin wouldn’t be sad at a table in a bar, wishing he could be anywhere else instead.

He spends the rest of the evening staring at nothing and half-listening to Minhyung and Taeil’s conversation. He gets his phone out to text Jeno no less than six times, and each time deciding against it.

When Donghyuck leaves in a hurry, throwing a smile over at Jaemin as he goes, he barely manages to return it.

Minhyung eventually offers to drive him home and he nods. In the car, he pulls his phone out again and opens a blank text.

'I’m sorry.' He types out, pressing send before he can change his mind.

Expecting that Jeno’s already gone to bed, he creeps into the flat quietly, locking the door behind him. However, when he gets into the living room, he finds Jeno sitting on the sofa; season one of Life Is Beautiful playing. They’d watched this season from what feels like a life time ago and Jaemin smiles down at his friend, curled up in blankets.

Jeno looks up at him, and they stare at each other in silence for a moment that seems to stretch on forever. Jeno smiles. “Come on,” he says, holding out his hand. Jaemin takes it, allowing himself to be pulled onto the sofa, kicking off his shoes before he tucks his feet underneath him. Leaning against Jeno, he lets his eyes shut for a second. Wrapped in his friend’s warm hold, he breathes out. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” Jeno replies. Jaemin feels him press a kiss to the top of his head, and he strikes up a mantra in his mind.

_He’s not in love with you, he’s not in love with you, he’s not in love with you._

\--

He wakes up on the sofa next to Jeno. The blanket has fallen onto the floor at some point, and one of Jeno’s arms is thrown over his stomach. Jaemin peeks at him through his eyelashes. He tries not to overthink it; this is a very normal best-friend thing to do. It’s happened before.

Carefully he slides Jeno’s arm off him and gets up off the sofa, stretching and groaning. Jeno sleeps on, and Jaemin takes a moment to watch him. It’s a little weird, and even he has to admit that.

He goes to make them both breakfast, cooking straight from the bottle pancake mix, because fuck off to making it himself. Covering the pancakes with lemon juice and sugar, he puts them onto plates and carries them through to the living room.

“Wake up,” he tells Jeno; nudging him with his foot, since both of his hands are full.

Jeno blinks groggily up at him, scowling a little.

“I know you’re tired, but food is important,” Jaemin says, waving the pancakes.

“This is coming from you?” Jeno teases, but accepts the pancakes, moving his legs so Jaemin can sit down too. He cuts up the pancake and shovels a few pieces into his mouth, moaning a little at the taste. “Oh, my God, I love you,” he mumbles, chewing the food.

Jaemin’s heart jumps, but he just laughs, and says, “The pancakes love you too.”

Jeno just continues to eat; demolishing both his pancakes before Jaemin is even done with his first. “Don’t they feed you at the hospital?” Jaemin asks.

“Not much,” Jeno says with a shrug. “I mean, we have that banquet at one, and champagne little over an hour later. Oh, and don’t forget the wild picnic that we have in the waiting room every day.”

Jaemin knocks against him, laughing. “So, by that you mean instant ramyeon on your ten minute break and a cookie if you’re lucky.”

“That’s exactly what I mean,” Jeno confirms.


	4. Chapter 4

The next time Sicheng invites him out with his friends, once again at the gym, Donghyuck hesitates. “I can’t afford a sitter.”

Sicheng waves a hand dismissively. “Bring him, you're not going to be drinking, and none of the others are going to get that smashed.”

Donghyuck bites his lip. “What will- Will the others be okay with that?”

Sicheng rolls his eyes. “Of course they will. Jisung's lovely, and they all adore kids.”

That’s how Donghyuck ends up walking to the cafe again, this time holding Jisung’s hand. His usual curls are brushed down around his head, except in the back because there's nothing the either of them could do to fix it.

They walk through the door, Jisung trailing just a little behind his papa, clutching his hand. Sicheng isn’t there, yet, but the few that are there – Jaemin, Jeno, and a brunette woman he doesn’t know – spot him instantly and wave him over.

They spot Jisung next, and the shock on their faces is evident. His hair, eyes, and features clearly identify his relation to Donghyuck, and the way he’s clinging to his leg sets him out to be his child.

Jeno is the first to recover, smiling down at him. “And who is this?”

Donghyuck looks down at Jisung, and uncertainty in the boy's dark eyes matches Donghyuck's own. He picks him up, balancing him on his hip. “This is Jisung,” he says, knowing that he won’t introduce himself. He looks at the others, nervously. “He’s my son.”

The pretty brunette woman smiles and says, “Hello there, little boy.”

Jisung smiles at her carefully while Donghyuck looks at her. “Hi, I don’t know you,” he says, smiling nonetheless.

“Oh!” she says. “Right, I’m Joohyun.” Her smile is stunning and Donghyuck is a little captivated as he grins back, responding with his own name. He pulls out a chair and sits down, opposite Jeno who’s staring at Donghyuck, positioning Jisung on his knee.

“You being shy?” He asks Jisung quietly when he buries his face in his papa's chest. He grins and then looks up to see Jeno and Joohyun looking at him and cooing. He rolls his eyes at them, secretly bursting with pride at his little boy and thrilling at how accepting they are.

Jaemin only seems to recover then, resting his arms on the table and asking, “So, uh, the mother? Where’s she?”

Jeno gives him a disapproving look, quickly saying, “Donghyuck, you don’t have to answer that.”

Donghyuck waves him off. “No, it’s fine. His mother just isn’t around anymore. It’s nothing personal, right Sungie? Mama loves you.”

Jisung nods, happily, and adds, “She gives Papa money and sends birthday gifts,” proudly.

Donghyuck laughs. “Yeah, she’s a busy woman, and well, she and I were just a hook-up. Jisung wasn’t exactly planned,” he plants a kiss into his son's hair, “but I’m glad he’s here.”

Jaemin smiles at him, sitting back in his seat, and he says, “He’s a lovely boy.” Jeno shoots Jaemin another look, frowning in confusion, but he then smiles as he looks at the brunette, who’s smiling at Donghyuck and Jisung.

At that moment, Sicheng arrives, Seulgi and Kun in tow, and crows, “Jisungie!”

Jisung sits up straight at his voice, hopping off his papa’s knee and darting across to him to be picked up in a hug, arms open wide. “Uncle Sicheng!” He screams, excitedly.

Seulgi and Kun watch the scene with amusement – as does everyone, actually, Donghyuck excepted due to the fact that he goes through this every time his son and his friend see each other.

Seulgi glances between the boy with the brown curls and Donghyuck, mouthing, “Yours?” at him. Donghyuck nods, and Seulgi beams.

When she comes across to sit down beside Donghyuck, he says, “He’s adorable. How old is he?”

“Six, now,” Donghyuck tells her.

“Damn! That’s old!” Seulgi laughs.

“You’re telling me,” Donghyuck agrees, also laughing. “Wait till you hear him talk properly, sometimes I think he might secretly be twenty.”

The others start to arrive and they all fawn over Jisung in their own ways. Joohyun curtsies to him. Taeil and Minhyung give him warm hugs.

He moves from knee to knee, happily soaking up the attention, and Donghyuck alternates between talking to Jeno and sitting quietly, watching his son in delight.

At one point, Jisung had been sitting on Jaemin’s knee, twirling a strand of his short hair around his finger and telling him seriously, “You’re a very pretty man.”

Jaemin laughed at that but seemed a little at loss of what to say back, so Jeno had stepped in, pulling lightly at Jisung’s own hair, saying, “Look, yours and Jaemin’s hair match.”

Jisung grinned as he compared their hair, holding a bit of his curly hair and a bit of the older man's together and holding them up for Donghyuck to see. “Look, Papa! We match!”

Donghyuck looked between his son and Jaemin, who seemed to be a little at a loss, bending his head so that Jisung doesn’t pull on his hair too hard, and he had said, “Yes you do, but maybe you shouldn’t pull at Jaemin’s hair, Sungie.”

The little boy looked up at Jaemin in surprise, as though he’d forgotten that the hair was attached to a person and quickly apologised, letting go of his hair. Jaemin told the younger it was alright and he patted him on the cheek with a smile. Both Jeno and Donghyuck laughed at that.

Currently, Jisung’s sitting on Joohyun’s knee, having his hair brushed, while he screws up his face in concentration, attempting to do the same to Taeil’s hair. It’s not going so well for him as it is for Joohyun, but Taeil seems nothing but thrilled to have the youngest's attention on him.

He gets to his feet. “Sungie? Do you want a drink?”

He looks up at him, the expression on his face saying that he’d forgotten his papa was even there.

“Coke?” He asks. Donghyuck just stares at him, one eyebrow raised, until he sighs. “Fine, apple juice please, Papa.”

He nods at his son formally, making him giggle as he turns his attention back to Taeil’s short brown hair. He turns to Jeno and Jaemin. “Want anything?" he asks them.

Jaemin declines, but Jeno says, “Sure, I’ll come with.”

Donghyuck waits for him to fish out his wallet – ignoring Donghyuck’s “I’ll pay” – and then they head across to the bar together.

While they wait for their drinks, Donghyuck picks at the edge of the bar, and says in a small voice, “I was so worried that you all would-,” he breaks off, not sure how to finish.

Jeno reaches out, putting his hand on top of Donghyuck’s. “That we’d what? Turn you away? Call you awful for being a single dad?” Donghyuck shrugs and Jeno gives his hand a squeeze. “You don’t have to worry about judgement here, Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck stares at him for a moment, and then he nods. “Okay.”

Jeno grabs his drink off the side and walks back to the table, leaving Donghyuck staring after him, heart beating too fast. Oh, God, he is so fucked.

They get back to their table, only to find that a line has built up in what he names the Hair Plaiting Machine. Jisung is doing Taeil’s, while having his done by Joohyun, who’s having hers done by a man with black hair who Donghyuck swears wasn’t here a moment ago, who’s got Minhyung sitting behind him, attempting to plait the short strands of hair on his head.

Donghyuck slides the apple juice over to Jisung and it goes largely ignored.

Joohyun at that moment screeches, letting go of Jisung’s hair and clutching her head. “Doyoung!” she exclaims, glaring at the new man. “You’re plaiting my hair, not trying to rip it out!”

He blushes and stammers out an apology. Joohyun rolls her eyes and goes back to plaiting Jisung’s hair delicately. Doyoung seems a little at loss as what to do, but after a nudge from Minhyung he goes back to plaiting Joohyun’s hair, this time taking a lot of care in not tugging.

Donghyuck’s sure Doyoung doesn’t see, but he definitely notices the small smile that forms on Joohyun’s face.

Seulgi leans over to him, saying in an undertone, “Those two are hopeless. They both are really into each other, but Joohyun won’t say anything because she wants Doyoung to ask her out, and Doyoung will never say anything because he thinks she is way out of his league and that she’d never like him in a million years.”

Donghyuck laughs. “Have you tried talking to them about it?”

Seulgi glances over at them. “Minhyung tries at least once a day.”

It’s a lot of fun, being with these people, and Donghyuck comes to accept them as real friends, despite the fact that they’ve only met twice.

\--

Jaemin barely notices the time passing until he hears Donghyuck call his name. He looks across, startled and desperately trying to ignore the warmth that spreads through him at Donghyuck saying his name. He catches the rest of the sentence, only just. “Do you want something to drink?”

He declines, smiling up at the man and shaking his head. Jeno however wastes no time in saying that he’ll go with him, and Jaemin’s eyes widen as they both head over to the bar. Jeno flashes a smile back at him, and Jaemin scrambles to smile back.

Next to him, Renjun snorts, and Jaemin elbows him in the side. Renjun’s the only person to know about Jaemin’s… crush, to use an unbelievably trivial term.

Renjun, unaffected by even Jaemin’s sharp elbows, leans in and catches Jaemin’s eye, nodding over to where Donghyuck and Jeno are now standing close to each other. “If you don’t make a move soon,” he says, just as Jeno reaches out to put his hand on top of Donghyuck’s, “you’ll never get the chance.”

Jaemin wishes that he could roll his eyes at that, but all he can manage to do is stare as Donghyuck smiles up at Jeno. Jeno starts to head back over to the table, so Jaemin quickly looks away, but when he glances back, Donghyuck’s staring after Jeno in a way that Jaemin is very accustomed to doing.

He looks back at Renjun. “I haven’t ‘made a move’ for the past thirteen years, what makes you think I would now?”

“Two reasons,” his friend says with a smug smile. “The first is jealousy. There’s a difference between not asking out someone you like, and seeing that someone happily dating someone else. He’s getting close to that. The second is that I think pretty soon you’re going to get tired of pretending.”

Jaemin scoffs. “Please,” he says, lowering his voice as Jeno sits down next to him, talking to Minhyung. “I know what I’m doing. I’m not about to ruin anything just because I can’t get a grip on myself.”

Renjun raises an eyebrow, and Jaemin can tell he’s fighting the urge to laugh. “Your understanding of emotions is endearing,” he tells Jaemin before getting up and wandering away to the bar.

Jaemin glances at Donghyuck, who’s listening as Seulgi whispers something to him, a smirk on his face.

Turning to Jeno, he says, “Don’t you have the early shift tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’m trying not to think about it,” Jeno replies, only half-joking as he grimaces. 

Jaemin laughs and nods, understandingly. “Well, we’ll just make sure we don’t stay too late.”

Jeno pulls a face. “Why did I want to be a doctor?”

The only way to describe how Jaemin feels right now is fond. He smiles at his friend, saying, “Because you love it and you’re very good at it.”

Jeno smiles, softly. “Oh, yeah.”

Jaemin chuckles. He’s a little distracted by Donghyuck’s laughter, but then Jeno leans in to excitedly tell him about this new medical discovery. Some things never change, and Jeno’s excitement about new things being discovered is one of them. (Another is how much Jaemin loves the way Jeno’s eyes light up when he’s talking about his passions.)

Jaemin listens intently, subconsciously leaning in as Jeno talks. Sometimes he asks questions because he wants to know, and other times it’s simply to see the way Jeno will grin and seem to get even more animated about the subject.

He laughs, delighted, as Jeno literally grabs his arm and says, “But this is so good, Jaemin,” as though Jaemin simply doesn’t understand. Jeno laughs too, as if he’s aware of his own ridiculousness.

Shaking his head affectionately, Jaemin grins, unable to stop himself.

\--

When Jisung starts yawning, at almost 9:30pm, Donghyuck decrees that it’s time for them to leave; the fact that his protests are almost non-existent proves to him just how tired he is. He picks his son up, letting him curl into his chest, and he says goodbye to the others. Most of them say goodbye to Jisung, not to him, but the thought is still there.

Jeno offers to walk him home, but Donghyuck declines, telling him to enjoy his night. He wanted to accept the offer more than anything, but he didn’t want to inconvenience the man.

Jisung falls asleep as they walk home and he barely stirs as Donghyuck undresses him and tucks the blankets in around him, kissing him on the head gently and turning out the lights.

\--

Donghyuck goes to meet his friends again, this time taking Seungwan with him, knowing that she needs some fun as much as he. They leave the kids with Xiening, Sicheng’s sister, who proved herself to be a pretty good sitter.

“You didn’t bring Jisung?” Taeil asks when they arrive, sounding disappointed.

“I think you like him more than you like me,” Donghyuck grumbles. “No, I didn’t bring him; Sicheng’s sister is looking after mine and Seungwan noona’s kids so we can have our well-deserved break.”

Seungwan, standing beside him, grins. “Ain’t that the gospel truth,” she says, raising her hands towards heaven like she’s preaching. A few members of the group laugh as Donghyuck sits down. “Right,” she says, still standing. “I’m having a beer. Water for Donghyuck,” she starts to list, turning to Sicheng. “What do you want?” He asks for a beer and she nods once before she flounces away.

“Well she sure is a whirlwind,” Minhyung says, staring after her, admiration in his voice.

Donghyuck sighs. “You honestly have no idea.”

Seungwan fits into the group so well it’s like she’s always been a part of it, and it doesn’t take long for her to pick up on the way Donghyuck stares at both Jeno and Jaemin. She drags him off to the bar after an hour, demanding to know what’s going on.

He shrugs and tells her that nothing’s going on – which is the truth. He does admit, however, to be harbouring a mighty fine crush on both the men. She gives him a sympathetic smile and pats him on the shoulder. “Good luck with that,” she says, completely unhelpfully, before skipping back to the table to take part in a loud game of snap with Seulgi and Joohyun – it was ruled that Kun was not allowed to take part in snap ever, because the last time he played he broke a watch and poked Jaemin in the eye.

\--

Three days later, Donghyuck’s working on a sketch of the view from his apartment window, just to pass the time, while Jisung lies on the front room floor, singing and drawing too. His phone buzzes on the other side of the room, and he hops to his feet, heading over to see who it is.

An unknown number flashes up on his screen and he clicks on the text, curiously.

'Hello Donghyuck!!! it begins. I have procured your number from your giant friend and am cordially inviting you to a celebration of Disney. Bring the small human that you are in possession of to the following address at 6pm sharp. M. :D'

There is, as promised, an address at the end, and Donghyuck frowns down at the text for a long moment.

In the end, he texts Sicheng.

'Who did you give my number to?? M???'

Sicheng replies within the minute, telling him that it’s Minhyung, and that he absolutely has to come to the movie night.

Donghyuck thinks about it, glancing across at Jisung. “Hey my love, do you want to go and see my friends? The ones from the bar?”

His face lights up. “Will Jeno and Jaemin be there?”

“I don’t know. Most likely.”

He purses his lips. “Will Joohyun be there? I want her to plait my hair again. She's not great but it feels like a nice head massage.”

Donghyuck laughs. “I don’t know who’ll be there, do you want to come, or not?”

Jisung nods eagerly and Donghyuck rolls his eyes at the little boy.

'We’ll be there :)' He replies to Minhyung, saving the number into his phone.

He gets a string of exclamation points in response and nothing further. The general happiness that radiates from that man is nice.

\--

By six, they are ready to go and they’re only running a little bit late. Okay, technically they’re supposed to be arriving around now, but for them, they’re practically on time.

Jisung practically bounces in his seat on the bus, chattering excitedly. Donghyuck only half listens to his mindless babble, nodding and humming when it seems appropriate. When they reach their stop, he takes Jisung’s hand and leads him off the bus, his hair bouncing as he springs along next to him.

They get a smile from an old lady who’s getting on as they get off, and both Donghyuck and Jisung beam back.

The street’s a little crowded so Donghyuck picks up Jisung and puts him on his shoulders, holding his feet so he doesn’t kick anyone accidentally.

It’s almost half six when they arrive at what Donghyuck assumes to be Minhyung’s apartment block. Jisung insists on staying on his shoulders as they climb the stairs. He’s still up there as Donghyuck knocks on the door and he tugs at his hair impatiently.

Kun is the one to open the door and his face splits into a wide grin, calling over his shoulder, “Look who showed up!”

Donghyuck looks past him, where he can see directly into the living room, and where the entire group seem to be sprawled out over the furniture. They all look his way, grinning and cheering.

Donghyuck pulls Jisung down off his shoulders, letting him skip off inside, and Kun pulls him into a warm hug as a greeting.

The two of them make their way into the living room, Donghyuck noticing that Jisung is already sitting on the sofa next to Jaemin as all his friends fuss over him. God, he thinks, he’s going to get so spoiled.

Donghyuck squeezes in between Jisung and Jeno, who gives him a warm smile.

He notices Seungwan sitting on the floor with Joohyun, talking intently about something or other, and as he sits down, Seungwan looks up and gives him a quick wave before going back to her conversation.

Various people call their greetings to Donghyuck, and Minhyung sticks his head in through a door. “Hey, they’re here,” he observes. “Want anything to drink? We have… Pop, juice, water, uh, yeah that’s it, oh wait we also have beer.”

Jisung looks up at his papa innocently and Donghyuck sighs. “You can have one glass of pop, and after that you’re on juice, okay?”

He nods with a wide grin and jumps to his feet, grabbing Jaemin's hand and pulling him along. Jaemin goes, stumbling a little and shooting an alarmed look at Donghyuck and Jeno, who just laugh.

“Get me a coke, Sung!” Donghyuck calls after him.

“Okay, Papa!” He replies.

Jeno sniggers. “I think your son has a bit of a crush on Jaemin,” he says.

“Who doesn’t?” Donghyuck jokes, also getting to his feet. “Do you know where the bathroom is?” He asks Jeno.

Jeno points him in the right direction and Donghyuck leaves the room. As he leaves, he hears someone behind him sigh, “Oh, you poor thing,” and Jeno reply, “Fuck off, Renjun.”

Not having any clue what that was about Donghyuck carries on his way.

When he gets back, Jisung and Jaemin have reclaimed their place on the sofa, and Jisung’s managing to drink his lemonade while still clutching at Jaemin’s hand.  Donghyuck sits back down, accidentally leaning into Jeno due to the lack of space, but Jeno doesn’t pull away, so he lets his side rest against him.

\--

A twisted feeling settles in Jaemin’s stomach when Donghyuck comes back and settles into the sofa, leaning against Jeno comfortably. In all honesty, Jaemin doesn’t know whether the action is on purpose or not, but it still hurts to see the smile that Jeno flashes Donghyuck at the contact.

When Minhyung comes in, carrying the popcorn, he passes it out and Seulgi kneels up. “Can we watch Aladdin?” Seulgi asks, excitedly. The others chime their agreement and Doyoung digs the DVD out of the pile and inserts it into the player.

They all sing along, naturally, but Sicheng – despite being tone deaf – really gives it his all, especially on Prince Ali and A Whole New World. Renjun constantly makes attempts to shut Sicheng up but doesn’t succeed once. Donghyuck’s laugh sounds out over their singing on numerous occasions, particularly when Seungwan sang Diago’s part of Forget About Love word for word with Taeil singing Jasmine’s part, and Kun joining in as Aladdin quite perfectly.

Donghyuck has a beautiful laugh, his whole body goes into it and his smile is blinding. God, Jaemin is way over his head. Every now and then, Jaemin catches sight of Jeno smiling too, either at the screen, or at Donghyuck. He’s a little unsure of what feeling fills him when Jeno smiles at Donghyuck.

Jisung lights up as Taeil and Minhyung sing, delighted by their beautiful duet.

After that, they put on The Road to El Dorado, (“This isn’t Disney!” Minhyung protests; he’s outvoted almost unanimously) the group chiming in on, “And then we go back to Spain,” and other such classic lines. Jisung giggles at rather odd times, finding the most unusual moments hysterical, and Jaemin grins down at him every time. He’s completely adorable, and it’s not just because of the way his dark curls and dark eyes remind him of Donghyuck.

When that film comes to an end, Jisung bounces up and down, saying, “Can we watch Enchanted? Please, please, please!”

No one wants to say no to the excitable little boy, and besides, everyone loves that film.

A little while into the film, Jisung is leaning back against Jaemin heavily while he distractedly plays with a strand of his hair. Jisung's head rests against his chest while he watches the movie intently. When Giselle spins around while singing, her dress fanning out with a smile on her face, Jisung says, “She's pretty.”

Sicheng bursts out laughing, exclaiming, “Oh, Donghyuck, you've raised a tiny queer.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes at him and Jaemin stifles a laugh. “What's a queer?” the little boy on his knee asks.

Donghyuck smiles at him, and Jaemin stomach does at least three flips. “Well, my love, remember that conversation we had about me being attracted to people of all genders?”

Jisung nods, looking up at him with his big, dark eyes and Jaemin can’t take his eyes off Donghyuck either.

“Well that's a type of 'queer',” Donghyuck explains, voice and expression equally soft. “I'm queer. It's only one, though. If you want, we can talk all about it tomorrow,” he promises him.

He purses his lips, thinking hard. “Am I queer?” He asks, and Jaemin grins down at him.

Donghyuck laughs. “You've got plenty of time to work that out for yourself, Jisungie.”

He tilts his head on its side for a second and Minhyung laughs, saying “Oh, Donghyuck, he looks just like you when he does that.” Jaemin has to agree that he does. It’s faintly adorable.

He then says, "Okay then," as he turns his attention back to the film.

Donghyuck smiles down at his little boy, and Jaemin watches the fond expression on the man’s face. Donghyuck glances up unexpectedly and their eyes lock for a moment. Jisung wriggles off Jaemin’s knee, though keeping hold of his hand, and curls up to his papa. Jaemin grins at Donghyuck, thinking that this crush is getting out of hand, before his eyes also slide back to the screen, watching as the woman sings happily.

Sicheng then says, “Don't worry little one, you’re prettier than the princess,” Jaemin gears up, ready to explain that women are equally beautiful and that you should never put a woman down to compliment another, but Jisung beats him to it.

“It's not a competition, Uncle Sicheng,” he informs him and Jaemin’s face breaks into a grin.

Sicheng raises an eyebrow, and then he bursts into laughter. “Right you are, Sungie.”

It’s odd how proud Jaemin feels of Jisung in that moment, considering he’s little more than an acquaintance to him or his papa.

“Can I call you Uncle Sicheng, Uncle Sicheng?”

“No, Minhyung,” the whole room says at once, in the exact same despairing tone. Minhyung dissolves into laughter and Jisung shushes him. (“Yeah, Minhyung, listen to the little boy,” Doyoung says distractedly, his eyes not leaving the screen.)

A short while later Jisung pulls away from his papa and curls up with his head on Jaemin's side. He looks back at Donghyuck with a grin, while Jaemin subconsciously wraps an arm around Jisung. Donghyuck gives him a pretend hurt look in return, making both Jisung and Jaemin laugh. Donghyuck looks up at him, smiling, and though it hurts Jaemin’s heart that Donghyuck is almost entirely leaning on Jeno now, Jaemin smiles back.

Donghyuck ends up falling asleep, and so does Jisung. Jaemin carefully strokes Jisung’s hair as he sleeps, flopped across his lap, but every now and then he sneaks glances at the sleeping Donghyuck. Jeno’s arm is wrapped around the artist’s waist, while Donghyuck’s head rests on the doctor’s shoulder. He tries to focus on the movie, but he can’t help but smile over at them every now and then.

It’s an unusual feeling – both jealousy and adoration mingled into one. Seeing them curled up together makes his heart pound and he wants to snuggle up to them too.

When Donghyuck finally stirs, Jeno looks down at him. “You alright?” Jeno whispers, smiling just a little. Jaemin sneaks another look at them, watching the way they smile at each other.

Donghyuck murmurs, “Yeah,” back, and wriggles closer into Jeno’s touch. His eyes slide across to Jaemin, and their gaze meets. Jaemin licks his lips and bites the lower one without thinking and quickly averts his eyes.

Jaemin stares determinedly at the screen, then hears Donghyuck groan. “Oh, God, it’s half eleven.”

Jaemin continues to not look at them, but listens to their whispered conversation.

“I mean,” Jeno whispers, “technically he is asleep.” Jaemin tries his hardest not to giggle at that.

“God, buses don’t even run this late,” Donghyuck replies. 

“We could give you a lift,” Jaemin offers immediately, looking over at them now.

Jeno nods, and Donghyuck looks between the two of them. “You could?”

“Yeah,” Jeno says.

“Thank you,” Donghyuck whispers, and Jaemin heart clenches at the bright smile that Donghyuck gives Jeno.

Clambering to his feet, Donghyuck stretches. His shirt rides up a little, revealing a stripe of skin, and the moan he makes suddenly makes Jaemin feel warmer all over. Donghyuck turns round to carefully lift Jisung off Jaemin’s lap, letting the younger snuggle into his chest as he continues to snore softly. Jeno and Jaemin get up too, whispering their thanks to Minhyung and Taeil for hosting as they follow Donghyuck to the door. The ones who are still awake wave goodbye.

Out on the street, Jisung shivers and stirs in Donghyuck’s arms. “We going home, Papa?” He mumbles, eyes still closed.

“Yes we are, my love,” he replies.

“I didn’t get to say goodbye to Jaemin hyung,” he whines, and Jaemin once again tries not to laugh. He barely manages this time, and when Donghyuck looks up at him his eyes are shining with mirth.

Jaemin shakes Jisung’s shoulder a little. “I’m still here, Sungie. I’m giving you a lift home.”

Jisung looks up at him, eyes bleary, and he gives him a big, but tired, smile. “Hey, Jaemin hyung.”

Jeno laughs and says, “I’m not really feeling the love right now.”

Jisung’s eyes find him too, then, and he smirks. “Hey, Jeno hyung.”

Jeno grins back at him and says, “Let’s get you home, alright, Sungie?”

Jeno climbs into the driver’s seat of his car, Jaemin sliding into the passenger seat, and Donghyuck carries Jisung into the back seat, keeping his son on his lap. The drive is mostly silent, save for when Donghyuck gives directions to his home.

Jaemin can’t stop thinking about either of the two men in the car.

“This is me,” Donghyuck says quietly when they turn down his street, at long last. He points out the building, and Jeno pulls up outside.

When Jeno gets out to hold open Donghyuck’s door, Jaemin throat constricts.

He watches as Jeno helps Donghyuck inside the building, the silence in the car ringing in his ears.

\--

Jeno gets out first, holding open Donghyuck’s door for him as Donghyuck carefully clambers from the car, holding Jisung in his arms. Jeno closes the door behind him, and without a word he falls into step beside Donghyuck as they walk to the front door of the apartment block.

Going through the doors, Donghyuck quietly says, “You don’t need to come upstairs with me.”

Jeno shakes his head. “It’s no trouble,” he replies.

After they’ve climbed the stairs, Donghyuck passes his key to Jeno so the other man can open his front door. Jeno leads the way into Donghyuck’s apartment, looking around, and then opening the door that Donghyuck gestures at.

Jeno stands back as Donghyuck tucks his little boy in his bed and then they both quietly back out of the room, shutting the door behind them.

There’s a short awkward pause in which they just look at each other in the darkened hallway.

“I’d, uh, offer you a drink, but-,” Donghyuck starts, finishing his sentence with a short shrug instead of words. 

Jeno looks at him with his dark eyes, and then takes a step forward, crowding into his space carefully. His hand comes up, brushing a strand of Donghyuck’s hair from his face. Donghyuck’s stopped breathing properly by this point, gazing up at Jeno, dumb-struck.

“Donghyuck?” Jeno whispers. “Can I kiss you?”

Donghyuck blinks, his lips parting slightly, and then he nods, eyes not moving from Jeno’s.

Jeno smiles as he moves even closer to Donghyuck, one hand coming to rest lightly on Donghyuck’s waist.

Donghyuck’s breath stutters as Jeno brushes their lips together gently, and his hand comes up to rest on the back of the doctor’s neck. Donghyuck kisses him back, adding pressure to the kiss, and his eyelids flutter closed.

Jeno pulls away first saying quietly, “I should probably go.” Donghyuck hums softly under his breath, still less than an inch away from Jeno. “Jaemin is sitting in my car.”

Donghyuck yanks back abruptly, and the two of them stare at each other for a second before Donghyuck bursts into giggles. “Oh, my God, go,” Donghyuck says, lightly pushing him in the direction of the door. “I forgot about him.”

Jeno can’t seem to stop smiling, and as he goes out the door, he wraps his fingers around Donghyuck’s wrist and pulls him in for another kiss. Donghyuck laughs against his lips, feeling on top of the world, and he can feel Jeno grinning back. “I’ll call you?” Jeno asks, hesitantly.

Donghyuck nods. “Yes, call me. Wait, you don’t have my number.”

Jeno pulls away and grins widely at him as Donghyuck turns to grab a pen off the side. He grabs hold of Jeno’s arm and pushes the sleeve up, scrawling his number onto his skin. Jeno stares at the digits scribbled onto his arm until Donghyuck laughs, pushing Jeno out the door. “Go on,” he says. “Jaemin is going to think you got lost.”

Jeno laughs, the sound echoing in the small quiet hallway. Donghyuck leans up against his doorpost, smiling at the man. Jeno gives him one last smile before he disappears down the stairs.

Donghyuck slips back inside his apartment, closing the door behind him and leaning up against the wood, smiling and squeezing his eyes shut tightly, determined not to forget this feeling.

He’s not feeling tired at all, and when he collapses into his bed, he lies awake for hours just smiling up at the ceiling.


	5. Chapter 5

He has to tell Jeno, he just has to. Renjun was right. If he doesn’t speak up now, he’s going to lose him, and clearly Renjun was also right that the realisation of that is so much worse than simply choosing not to say anything.

Jeno’s gone for a long time, and Jaemin gets more and more on edge as the time passes. When Jeno re-appears, walking back over to the car, Jaemin is resolved. He has to say something.

As soon as Jeno gets in the car he says, “I need to talk to you about something.”

Jeno doesn’t seem to hear him, slamming the door behind him as he climbs into the car. A big grin is plastered across his face, and Jaemin freezes.

Jaemin then says, “Are you- Is everything alright?”

Jeno stares straight ahead, hands on the steering wheel, but suddenly he turns to look at Jaemin. “I just kissed Donghyuck,” he tells him in a hushed voice, though there’s no one to overhear them.

Jaemin’s jaw drops. A stunned silence fills the car and Jaemin struggles to find something to say. He’s too late. For thirteen years he didn’t say anything, and now he’s too late. “H-How was it?” he asks at last.

Jeno gives him an odd look, but he’s beaming so he obviously doesn’t think about the question that much. “It was… really good. I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” he admits, and Jaemin fights to pretend that he’s not dying inside.

“Oh,” is all Jaemin can manage.

Jeno, however, blunders on, “I mean he told me to call him and gave me his number; that’s good, right? I’m pretty sure he’s interested; he seemed pretty happy, and I- sorry, I’m rambling. Let’s go home.”

Jaemin smiles, but it’s weak, and he says feebly, “No, I’m- I’m glad you’re happy. I really do think he likes you. It’s- It’ll be good, the two of you.”

Jeno gives him a wide smile as he starts the engine.

When they get back to their flat, Jaemin tells him that he’s feeling pretty tired and heads straight to bed. He curls up in his bed, under the duvet and wills himself not to cry.

\--

When he wakes up in the morning, he’d have thought that his first thought would be of Jeno. Oddly though, the first thing he remembers about the previous night is Jaemin, grinning down at Jisung’s giggling. Donghyuck’s heart skips a couple of beats and he grins into his pillow.

Then he remembers the kiss – or kisses, to be more accurate.

He rolls onto his back and frowns, confusion overwhelming him.

He needs to talk to someone. Running through his list of options, none seem too helpful. Jisung: six. Seungwan: more likely to laugh and pat him on the head rather than come up with something genuinely helpful. Sicheng: pretty fucking useless at relationships. Jeno or Jaemin: the people that are causing this issue.

In the end, he calls Minhyung.

“Hello, my newest friend- actually, no, that’s not true. I met this lovely girl this morning and we’re going out for coffee later. She’s technically my newest friend. Let’s start over. Hello, my friend!” Minhyung says. “How can I assist you on this fine day?”

He doesn’t bother building up to it, nor does he even try to sugar-coat it, simply blurting out, “I kissed Jeno and can’t stop thinking about Jaemin.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then Minhyung says, “Meet me at mine ASAP.”

“Got it,” Donghyuck answers before hanging up.

He drops Jisung off at Seungwan’s en route, saying he’ll be back soon for him.

He knocks once and the door opens instantly, as though Minhyung had been standing behind it, waiting for him. Minhyung grabs him and yanks him through to the living room where almost all their friends are standing.

“Oh my god,” Donghyuck groans. “Hyung, no. Did you tell the whole fucking town?”

“Sit down, Donghyuck,” Minhyung says, pushing him onto the sofa.

Joohyun, Seulgi, and Kun are sitting on the floor, with Sicheng, Renjun, and Taeil standing behind them. Joohyun and Doyoung are sitting in an armchair. All of them are staring at him.

“Tell us what happened.”

Donghyuck breathes out heavily. “Right, okay. So, Jaemin and Jeno drove Jisung and I home last night, and Jeno helped me take Jisung up to my flat. While we were up there, he kissed me.” He watches their faces for reactions, but none of them move. “It was good, you know? Like, I know that I wanted him to kiss me, so... that’s good. But then I couldn’t stop thinking about Jaemin, and how I… want him to kiss me too?” He chews at his lip as he stares back at his friends.

Everyone is silent, taking in what they just heard. Taeil’s the first to crack, a giggle bursting out of him suddenly. He claps a hand over his mouth, but his eyes are still shining with mirth as he says, “I can’t believe Jeno kissed you.”

Minhyung laughs too, then. “Has anyone ever heard of Jeno kissing anyone before? Because goddamn I’m his best friend and he’s never even talked about liking someone before.”

Joohyun laughs at that, a dainty sound, and she says, “I always thought he had a thing for Jaemin.”

“I did too!” At least three people say, though Donghyuck’s not sure who.

Joohyun gets to her feet and moves to where she can see them all. “Okay, people. Here’s what I have: Donghyuck likes both Jeno and Jaemin. Jeno likes Donghyuck and most likely Jaemin. Jaemin we’re not certain about, but from the way he was smiling over at Donghyuck and Jeno cuddling last night, I think we can be sure he likes them too. I fucking hate love triangles, but what I do love is polyamory.”

Seulgi and Kun chime in with an, “Amen!” to that.

Joohyun and Taeil laugh again.

“You- You mean that-,” Donghyuck tries to say but fails.

“I mean that the three of you should date,” Joohyun states clearly.

Sicheng, who up until this point has been silent, says, “I agree.” Donghyuck looks sharply at him, and Sicheng explains, “Hyuckie, I know you don’t date because you’re busy looking after Jisung, right? But these guys are good people who both like you and Jaemin is fantastic with your boy.”

Donghyuck can’t deny it.

“This could be really good for you, Hyuck,” Sicheng says.

“Or it could be catastrophic,” Donghyuck shoots back.

Sicheng sighs. “For once, Hyuck, I’m going to need you to put aside your cynicism and go for something that will make you happy.”

Donghyuck’s phone starts ringing at that moment, and he picks up, glancing at the unknown number ID for only a second. The person on the other end starts talking almost instantly. “I know saying I’ll call and then calling literally the next day is a bit clingy, but hey, I can’t help it. Do you want to meet for coffee?” Donghyuck smiles down at his hands, unable to give a response for a second, and Jeno then says, “Donghyuck? Please say something.”

Donghyuck says quietly, “Hi, Jeno.”

He hears the smile in Jeno’s voice when he replies, “Hi, Donghyuck.”

“So, coffee?” Donghyuck prompts.

“That’s the plan, yes,” Jeno agrees.

“Sounds good,” Donghyuck says.

“Meet me at the café at… One-ish?” Jeno asks.

“I’ll be there,” Donghyuck promises.

There’s a short moment of silence, and then Jeno says, “I can’t wait,” and hangs up.

Donghyuck knows he’s outright grinning as he pulls the phone away from his ear.

Joohyun starts giggling first, and as Donghyuck fills them in her smile gets wider. “Damn, I wish I hadn’t taken the day off.”

“You own the café,” Seulgi reminds her. “You can just show up, you know?”

\--

Jaemin’s day doesn’t start out great, and it only worsens when Jeno tells him he’s going out, adding excitedly, “On a date. With Donghyuck.”

He seems so happy and Jaemin can’t take that away from him, so he simply glances up from his laptop with a smile. “Have fun!” He says with as much enthusiasm as he can muster. His smile freezes on his face as he looks at Jeno because he’s looking particularly good. The thought of Jeno taking the time to make himself look nice to go out with someone makes Jaemin’s smile drop completely; he must really like Donghyuck. Luckily, Jeno’s already turned away and is out the door, not noticing Jaemin’s change of expression.

The rest of the day passes slowly. The ticking of the clock is abhorrently loud. Time ticks by second by second, reminders that Jeno is out with Donghyuck.

1pm: they’re probably meeting, maybe they hug. Donghyuck probably looks really nice, and he knows Jeno does. Perhaps they went to a café; maybe Jeno buys Donghyuck a drink.

1.05pm: Donghyuck’s laughing at one of Jeno’s ridiculous jokes. Jeno thinks about how carefree and beautiful Donghyuck looks when he laughs.

1.10pm: They probably aren’t noticing the time go past in such excruciating detail.

1.12pm: This is nothing short of torture.

Jaemin gets to his feet and paces the apartment a few times. He can’t bear this.

1.30pm: They probably have no shortage of things to talk about. When will Jeno get back?

1.40pm: It feels like the clock is mocking him, each tick reminding him  _it’s not you, it’s not you, it’s not you_. Jeno might hold Donghyuck’s hand. He might tell him something interesting about his work. He might-

His phone rings. It’s Minhyung.

“Oh, thank God,” Jaemin exclaims as soon as he picks up the phone. “Talk to me. Talk at me. I don’t care about what just give me something to distract myself with.”

“I’m outside your door,” Minhyung replies.

“Yep, that’ll do it,” Jaemin says, and then he hangs up, tossing his phone onto the sofa and going to let Minhyung in.

“How’re you holding up, kiddo?” is the first thing that Minhyung says as soon as he gets through the door, quickly followed by a, “Your doorbell is broken.” He strips himself of his coat, throwing it onto the nearest surface and kicks off his shoes, continuing into the living room to collapse onto the sofa.

“What do you mean?” Jaemin asks. Does Minhyung know? How could Minhyung know? Internally Jaemin panics, wondering if Jeno could possibly know too. Minhyung’s never been good at keeping secrets from either him or Jeno.

“What do I mean… your doorbell’s broken? I mean, it’s pretty self-explanitor-”

“Fuck off,” Jaemin says, not snappishly.

Minhyung pulls a face and says, “Well, the man you’re in love with is currently on a date with the man you’re crushing quite spectacularly on.”

Jaemin lets out a heavy sigh and falls onto the sofa beside his best friend. “How did you know?” he asks, sullenly.

Minhyung gives him a sympathetic smile. “I’m a psychic,” he tells him.

Jaemin laughs, but barely. He stares down at his hands. “I’m in love with Jeno,” he says quietly, realising that he’s never really said it out loud before.

“And what about Donghyuck?” Minhyung asks, wriggling nearer to him on the sofa.

“I don’t know,” Jaemin replies. Then he frowns. “When I see him… I get this feeling like, like, I’m either going to fall or fly.”

“Oh, Nana,” Minhyung murmurs as he pulls him in for a hug. Jaemin leans against him, letting Minhyung wrap his arms around him.

Jeno’s a good hugger, but Minhyung has this way of wrapping you in his arms and making you feel safe, like nothing can get to you.

“So, what are you going to do about it?” Minhyung asks him.

Jaemin thinks, and frankly there’s really only one option. “Nothing,” he says, decisively. Minhyung frowns in surprise. “I’m not going to do anything,” Jaemin repeats. “When Jeno left this morning I’ve never seen him look so excited about anything. He’s so happy, and I can’t ruin that.”

Minhyung lets out a whine that sounds almost despairing. “And what about _your_ happiness?” he asks.

“Me?” Jaemin asks. “I’m fine. I can be happy for them.”

Minhyung gives him a disbelieving look.

“I can!” Jaemin protests.

_I have to._

\--

Donghyuck’s a little late to the café. He makes it to there at about ten past one.

After the impromptu get-together with his friends and the phone call from Jeno, he’d rushed over to Seungwan’s to ask her to look after Jisung for a little longer, oh, and also to tell her what happened. She’d been so excited and they’d talked for ages. It hadn’t been until five to one that she’d looked over at the clock and let out a death screech. She’d all but pushed him out the door, screaming, “Run, Donghyuck, run!”

She had then burst into giggles, of course, completely ruining the effect.

Still, Donghyuck had run, and by the time he reached the café he was sufficiently out of breath.

He walks through the door, running a hand through his hair and attempting to slow his breathing down. He doesn’t see Jeno at first, so he heads to the counter, behind which stands Joohyun. She quickly moves over to him, hissing, “He’s been here for twenty minutes, where were you?” at him as she spins him round and pushes him in the right direction.

He notices Jeno then, not facing the door, and he takes a deep breath before going over. He flops down in the seat opposite Jeno and says, “I’m so sorry, I had to go check on Jisung, she’s with Seungwan, and I lost track of time, have you been here long?”

Jeno starts smiling almost immediately, dropping the book he had been reading onto the table, and lies, “No, I was a little late too.”

Donghyuck pretends he doesn’t know the lie and nods in an understanding fashion. “I’m pretty much late to everything. It’s a tough life.”

Jeno laughs and Donghyuck relaxes at the sound. “Can I buy you a drink?” Jeno asks, and Donghyuck accepts.

They leave their coats on the backs of chairs, along with Jeno’s book and bag, to claim the table, and then they both head over to the counter.

Joohyun practically glows at the sight of them chatting and laughing as they make their way towards the counter. Jeno blushes a bit as she serves them, with a knowing look. She grins at him, and he mumbles, “It’s a new thing.”

“Yes, I could tell,” she answers dryly, with a wink at them both.

Donghyuck chuckles and Jeno goes an even brighter red.

The date goes well, they never once run out of things to talk about, and Donghyuck really likes the way Jeno’s laugh sounds. They sit for hours, taking it in turns to buy coffee and cake.

At one point Seulgi and Kun come into the little café and apparently can’t resist coming over to say hello, staying for an awkward length of time and acting like they don’t know it’s a date. Jeno raises an eyebrow at Donghyuck when Seulgi says, “So what are you two doing here alone?” and Donghyuck snorts into his coffee.

Eventually Donghyuck says, “Guys, go away,” sounding desperate but not being able to stop laughing.

Both of their friends burst out laughing, dropping their pretence and wandering away to Joohyun with a, “Have fun on your date, boys,” called over their shoulders.

Jeno can’t help but laugh at that, looking at Donghyuck and saying, “So I assume everyone knows?”

Donghyuck blushes. “I might have told one or two people.”

Jeno grins. “I told Jaemin, too, no worries.”

When Donghyuck glances at his phone to check the time for the third time in five minutes, Jeno laughs. “Go on, you best get back to Sungie.”

Donghyuck beams. “This has been so nice, Jeno,” he says, getting to his feet.

“Well, we’ll do it again soon,” Jeno promises.

Jeno walks him out the café, nodding at Joohyun on the way. They pause outside the café. “I’m this way,” Donghyuck says, awkwardly, pointing to their left.

“I’m the other,” Jeno says, nodding his head to the right.

They stand there for another moment, until Donghyuck laughs softly and says, “Fuck it,” taking Jeno’s hands and standing on his tiptoes to press a gentle kiss to his lips. Jeno kisses back and when they break apart he’s smiling. Donghyuck is too. “I’ll see you around,” Donghyuck says. Jeno nods, leaning down and pressing another kiss to his lips.

“I don’t know if this is weird to say, but I really like kissing you,” Jeno tells him.

Donghyuck laughs and gives him one last kiss in response. “I like kissing you too.”

\--

Eyes closed, music playing loudly, Jaemin sprawls across the sofa and focuses on breathing in and out carefully. Minhyung had to go, and Jeno’s still not back from the date, so Jaemin had to find his own means of calming down.

If that meant that he lay down for a while with soothing music playing, then so be it.

He hears the door handle turning and he takes one last deep breath before sitting up and turning to Jeno with a smile. Jeno’s smiling, seemingly uncontrollably, and Jaemin flicks the music off.

“Were you just listening to Heize?” Jeno asks with a smile.

Jaemin shrugs. “Uh, yeah, I needed to relax,” he says. Then, because it’s going to come up eventually, he asks, “How was the date?”

He’s fairly sure he’s got the fake-smile perfected, though perhaps he doesn’t because he’s certain he sees Jeno’s smile falter for a second before he gushes, “It was perfect.”

“Oh,” Jaemin says, and he can barely call his tone polite interest, let alone a genuine reaction.

Luckily for him, Jeno carries the conversation. “We went to the café and we just talked for hours, Nana,” Jeno says happily, coming to sit on the sofa with Jaemin. “He’s so incredible, we just click. Oh, God, I sound like a teenager, I just really think I like him, Jaemin.” 

Jaemin fakes a laugh that he thinks sounds real enough, and replies, “Clearly. I’ve never heard you talk about a crush before.”

“Is it too early to say it’s more than a crush?” Jeno asks, looking at him with sincerity.

Despite how much this conversation is tearing into him, Jaemin actually does smile then. Jeno’s sudden delicate sweetness is so much more than endearing, and Jaemin shrugs. “I don’t know, Jeno,” he says. “I guess that’s all down to how you feel.”

Jeno smiles brightly. “Oh, I’ve never felt like this about anybody, except, well-” he breaks off suddenly, blushing bright red for reasons that Jaemin can’t name.

Jaemin elbows him in the side, playing up the teasing best friend role, because that’s easier than anything. “Except who?” he asks, with a grin.

Jeno just continues to blush and stammer, and Jaemin laughs. So, it hurts that Jeno’s crushing very badly on Donghyuck, and it hurts that clearly there was someone else also very dear to Jeno’s heart that wasn’t Jaemin, but even with all that, Jaemin is still Jeno’s best friend, and he’ll take that over nothing any day.

\--

Donghyuck gets back from picking up Jisung and sets about making them both dinner straight away. As he stirs the pasta, he calls through to the living room. “Hey, Sungie, can you come here a second?”

He appears in the doorway almost instantly. “What is it, Papa?”

He turns to face his son. “You remember Jeno?” He nods. “Today he and I went out for coffee together. On a date.”

Jisung seems to think it over for a moment. “You’re dating Jeno?”

Donghyuck nods. “Yes, I suppose I am.” He’s actually not sure, after all they have only been on one date, but Donghyuck feels good about his chances and he wants Jisung to know straight from the off. This is simpler than explaining that he doesn’t really know.

He grins and nods. “Okay then.”

As they sit at the dinner table, Donghyuck listening to Jisung tell him all about what Renjun said to Sooyoung, he gets a text. When he sees it’s from Minhyung and it starts with ‘I talked to Jaemin’, he puts it back in his pocket to look at later.

When he does finally work up the courage to read it, he’s sitting on the fire escape, outside his bedroom window. He takes a deep breath.

'I talked to Jaemin. Confirmed: he’s in love with Jeno. He doesn’t know how he feels about you. He described it as an ‘I’m either going to fall or fly’ sort of sensation. Recommended course of action: talk to Jeno about this.'

Donghyuck stares at the text for a long time. He doesn’t reply.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Jaemin lets himself get distracted with work for a few days, constantly writing and reading and not thinking about Jeno and Donghyuck. Jeno and he don’t really talk much, though there’s nothing awkward about it; sometimes that just happens. Jeno’s at the hospital and Jaemin isn’t really being a human being.

Jeno sticks his head into his room one afternoon and says, “We're going to Minhyung and Taeil’s tonight.”

Jaemin looks up in curiosity. “Just us or the whole gang?”

Jeno gives him a smile – a beautiful, disarming, smile. “The whole lot of us.”

Jaemin smiles back and tries not to think about how that will definitely include Donghyuck. “Sounds great. Give me a ten minute warning before we go.”

Jeno drives them and Jaemin taps on his knee erratically, feeling the nerves building in his stomach. It’s so much harder than he’d imagined and the thought of being around Donghyuck and Jeno at the same time makes him anxious beyond belief.

Donghyuck isn’t there when they arrive, however, and Jaemin grabs a beer from the kitchen and downs it pretty quickly. Minhyung raises an eyebrow at him, though he doesn’t comment, and Jaemin snaps, “Yes I know it’s a bad coping mechanism. It’s just one night. Sue me.” Minhyung simply raises his hands in surrender, and Jaemin feels guilty for snapping, but he doesn’t apologise. He then grabs a soft drink and goes to sit on the sofa with Jeno, his mind already pleasantly duller.

When Donghyuck arrives, bringing Jisung with him, he can’t help the initial happiness that floods through him at the sight of the man, and he smiles over at him, the smile dying when he notices Jeno get up to go hug him in greeting.

“Are you Papa’s boyfriend?” Jisung demands attracting everyone's attention as he looks up at Jeno with sharp eyes. Jaemin doesn’t even lie to himself that he’s holding his breath for the answer.

Jeno looks a little afraid, glancing across at Donghyuck for a second, but then says, “Yes. I am. Is that okay with you?”

Jaemin squeezes his eyes shut and counts to four, breathing in and out slowly.

He hears Jisung say, “Yes, it is,” and he opens his eyes to see his best friend and the little boy grinning at each other.

He can’t take this.

He’s on his feet in seconds, mumbling something to Minhyung, though he’s not sure what excuse he managed to come up with, and he leaves the room quickly. He’s fully aware how obvious it likely was, but he just doesn’t care.

He couldn’t stay there for a second longer.

\--

“What was that about?” Jeno whispers to Donghyuck.

“It’s hard to explain,” Donghyuck replies.

“Is it something I need to know about?”

Donghyuck pulls a face and nods, “Yeah.” He takes Jeno’s hand and says to Jisung, “Are you going to be okay with the others for a little while?”

He nods enthusiastically, so Donghyuck pulls Jeno from the room and out onto Minhyung and Taeil's little balcony.

Jeno sits down on the step while Donghyuck paces up and down the small stone area. “Okay,” Donghyuck says, and then hums under his breath. “Okay.” He sighs. “This is- I know that we’ve only been on one date, and we haven’t had the dating conversation, even though you just told my little boy that you’re my boyfriend, though I mean, that could just be convenience, and well, this is a little sensitive-”

“Donghyuck,” Jeno interrupts, getting to his feet and taking Donghyuck’s hands, forcing him to stop pacing. “You’re making me nervous. What’s wrong?”

“Jaemin is in love with you,” he blurts out.

Jeno drops his hands instantly and Donghyuck forces his eyes shut. He hears Jeno sit back down on the step. “You’re certain?” Jeno asks, quietly.

Donghyuck looks down at him and nods. “Minhyung told me.”

“Why hasn’t Jaemin said anything? He never- I didn’t know- I-”

“How long have you been in love with him?” Donghyuck interrupts, making Jeno fall silent instantly.

Donghyuck goes to sit down next to Jeno, and the man instantly reaches for his hand. Donghyuck allows it, letting their fingers link together. Donghyuck leans against Jeno, his head falling onto his shoulder. Jeno presses a kiss to Donghyuck’s hair. He sighs. “A long time.”

Donghyuck nods, feeling numb. “Maybe you should tell him.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” Jeno asks, and when Donghyuck glances up at him, there are tears steadily filling his eyes.

Donghyuck kisses Jeno, pulling away and running his fingers down the side of his face gently. “Not if you don’t want me to.”

Jeno breathes out sharply. “Of course I don’t want you to. I- I’m not in love with you, but, fuck, this is not a one-date sort of conversation but I really like you, Donghyuck, and I could see myself falling in love with you. I wanted to kiss you the first time we met and yes that was barely two weeks ago but I don’t want to lose you. You’re funny, kind, a wonderful dad, and God, when you came into the hospital, you were downright adorable.”

“I don’t want to lose you either,” Donghyuck says instantly. Jeno pulls him into a hug and Donghyuck buries his face in his neck. “You love Jaemin, though,” Donghyuck points out.

Jeno hums his agreement. “Yes, and I’m not sure if that’s going to go away.”

Donghyuck pulls back. “What if I don’t want it to go away?”

Jeno frowns. “Why wouldn’t you?”

Donghyuck looks down at his feet as he says in a rush, “Because maybe I like Jaemin too?”

Jeno freezes. They stare at each other for a long moment. “You do?” Jeno asks, uncertainly.

Donghyuck nods. “I’m sorry, it’s just, he’s so- I mean, you’ve seen him with Jisung, right? And when he smiles, fuck, Jeno. He’s nice, and he’s- I can’t explain it.”

He expects Jeno to look upset, at least a little, but instead Jeno’s nodding. “I know what you mean. I know exactly what you mean.” He laughs softly. “God, are we both in love with Jaemin?”

“I think so,” Donghyuck whines. Then he shakes his head. “But I feel exactly the same way about you; I want you to know that.”

Jeno leans in to kiss him again. Donghyuck can feel tears prick his eyes as he holds Jeno tightly. “Me too,” Jeno says. “Me too.”

Donghyuck pulls back, and Jeno wipes under his eyes for him. “God, we’re just hot messes right now, aren’t we?” Donghyuck laughs. Jeno laughs too.

“What are we going to do?” Jeno asks.

Donghyuck jumps to his feet, pulling Jeno up with him and he glances through the window, to where he can see Jaemin and Minhyung coming back into the room. “Well first you’re going to kiss me,” he tells Jeno, who willingly obliges, “and then we’re going to go back inside and act as though nothing is wrong at all. Make sure you don’t sit next to me. You sit on one side of Nana, I’ll sit on the other, and Sungie can sit on his knee.”

Jeno starts to smile a little. “Isn’t that mean?”

“Nope. If you can manage it, maybe fall asleep on his shoulder. Hey, by the end of the night we might have the whole family asleep on him.” Donghyuck laughs, mentally picturing Jaemin sitting there with three humans asleep on him.

Jeno’s face softens. “The whole family?” he echoes.

Donghyuck hadn’t realised what he’d said, but he can’t bring himself to take it back. “The whole family,” he confirms. “Sorry, no backing out on me and Jisung. We have abandonment issues,” he jokes.

Jeno leans in to kiss him, but Donghyuck puts his hand over Jeno’s mouth. “That’s not part of the plan.”

Jeno laughs, the noise muffled by Donghyuck’s hand, and he pushes Donghyuck’s hand away, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him in for a kiss.

\--

Jaemin keeps moving until he’s out on the front steps of the building, where he collapses and sits down hard on the concrete steps. It doesn’t take long for someone to come after him.

“What happened?” Minhyung asks, sitting down next to him on the cold steps and putting an arm around him.

Jaemin stares at the floor, wishing that it would just swallow him whole, and then maybe things wouldn’t hurt so much. “I’m in love with Donghyuck,” he whispers. Then he covers his face with his hands. “I’m the most ridiculous person on the planet,” he moans. “First I fall in love with my best friend, and then I fall in love with my best friend’s boyfriend.”

Minhyung leans against him, resting his head on his shoulder. Jaemin presses their heads together while he stares at nothing in despair. “I thought I could handle it,” he admits. “I really thought I could be happy for them. But seeing them together, hearing it out loud, it’s just too much, hyung. I just, I love them both so much.”

“Want to hear a fact?” Minhyung whispers, continuing without waiting for an answer. “Falling in love is not an independent emotion.”

Jaemin lifts his head, frowning at him.

“Well, not completely, at least,” Minhyung says. “It’s not some new emotion, different from other emotions, and that you’ve never felt before. It’s more like- more like this mixture? A collection of sharp sensations, tangled up with one another into one gigantic ball of feelings that continuously pound your chest, demanding to be felt all at once as common sense scrambles to create a semblance of order and fails miserably.”

“What are you talking about?” Jaemin asks, miserably. “I think you’ve been spending too much time with Taeil.”

“Love is so complicated, Nana, and for you, it’s just a little bit more so.”

Jaemin resists rolling his eyes at his best friend.

“Look, what I’m trying to say is, you’re never going to figure out exactly how all the ends meet,” Minhyung says, “but they will. I’ve always said that Jeno loves you, and I stand by it.

“Love is happiness and confusion, it’s sadness and anger, it’s beauty and pain, it’s all of this and so much more. It’s things that don’t even have names, because they’re so complicated that it would be impossible to name them.” Minhyung sighs. “I need you to trust me on this, Nana. I have fallen in love in so many ways, with so many different people. You just have to trust me. Everything is going to be okay.”

“But it hurts,” Jaemin whines, and he knows that he sounds like a child. Minhyung has the good grace not to laugh at him.

“I know, Nana, but you’ve got to put on a brave face and try to be happy for them. And then, if all else fails and you really can’t stand not being with them, we’ll get you some skinny jeans.”

Jaemin shoves Minhyung, but a laugh bubbles to the surface anyway.

“Be happy for them,” he mutters. “I can do that. Jeno is my best friend and I will be happy for him. Even if I want to throw myself out of a window every time he and Donghyuck touch.”

“You are such a drama queen,” Minhyung sighs, getting to his feet and holding out his hand to help Jaemin up too.

Jaemin mocks Taeil’s poetry. Not the poems themselves, he doesn’t have half the talent that that man has, but the ideas behind them. The perfect love: the falling head-over-heels for someone and them returning the sentiment. He’s had a thousand discussions with the man about how he can’t believe in such an unreliable emotion. Secretly though, he’d give anything on Earth to be able to see love the way the little poet sees it: infallible, and always beautiful.

When he and Minhyung get back into the living room, he automatically looks for Jeno and Donghyuck. When he sees them out on the balcony, he freezes. They seem to be laughing, and Jeno pulls Donghyuck into a kiss.

While Minhyung goes over to the window, Jaemin quickly sits down at lets Jisung jump onto his knee. He smiles, feeling uncomfortable about what he just saw, though they are kind of showing off, and he focuses on running his fingers through Jisung’s hair – at the younger's insistence.

Over by the window, he hears Minhyung say, “We get the idea. You’re into exhibitionism. Please stop.”

He forces himself not to look as Jeno and Donghyuck make their way inside. When they sit down on the sofa – either side of him, is this a new kind of torture? – they keep their hands linked, stretching their arms around the back of the sofa. Jaemin tenses with their arms not that far from resting around his shoulders. 

Jisung turns around to clamber up Jaemin and sit closer to his papa. Donghyuck leans in a little and Jaemin tries to make himself relax. “Are you having a nice night, my love?” Donghyuck asks him.

The little boy smiles up at him, snuggling into Jaemin a little. “Yes, Papa,” he tells him.

Minhyung stands up. “Jeno, can I speak to you for a moment?”

Jaemin panics instantly, saying “Hyung, I-” quickly, before he’s interrupted by Minhyung telling him that it’s nothing to do with “what we just discussed.” He finishes the reassurance with an over-exaggerated wink, and Jaemin sinks back into the sofa, not at all comforted by that. If Minhyung tells Jeno, it’s over. 

When Jeno gets to his feet, he’s forced to drop Donghyuck’s hand, but Jaemin feels their fingers trailing across the back of his neck as they both pull their hands back to themselves. He shivers, despite himself. It was obviously accidental but it still affects Jaemin more than he’d like to admit.

Donghyuck curls up in his seat, letting his knees rest slightly on Jaemin’s thigh. “What are we watching?” he asks the group, looking at the TV, clearly utterly oblivious to how his closeness is affecting Jaemin.

“Whatever’s going on on that sofa,” Joohyun answers, looking across at them and Jaemin’s eyes widen.

Sicheng and Seulgi answer, “I Live Alone,” saving the moment from awkwardness.

He quite likes this show at times, and he tries to focus on it, instead of the weight of Donghyuck’s legs resting on his own.

Barely moments later, Jisung sticks his head right in the way of Jaemin’s view, frowning at him. “Why are you so…? Papa, what’s the word?” he asks, turning to Donghyuck with a frown.

“Tense?” Donghyuck offers and Jisung nods. Jaemin wants to leave; if Donghyuck can tell that he’s tense, he’s clearly not hiding his feelings all that well.

“Yes,” Jisung says. “Why are you so tense, Jaemin hyung?”

Jaemin smiles at him, his concern endearing, and he tucks a strand of his hair behind his ear. “It’s nothing, love,” he tells him, trying to maintain the smile.

Jisung continues to frown at him, seeing right through his act clearly. It seems that six years olds are remarkably perceptive. “But you seem sad.”

“Don’t you worry about it,” he says. “Come on; let’s watch the show, Sungie.”

He pats him on the cheek and wriggles round so that he can wrap his arms around heim as he sits in his lap. He leans down and presses a gentle kiss to the small boy’s hair. It’s remarkable how much the little boy means to him. He’s somehow worked his way into his heart without him noticing.

Jeno doesn’t come back for a long while and neither does Minhyung.

Jaemin makes himself keep his eyes on the screen, even when Donghyuck’s head sinks onto his shoulder.

When Jeno gets back, Donghyuck lifts his head up to smile over at him. Jaemin both misses the weight of him leaning on him and feels guilty for craving the physical contact of his best friend's boyfriend.

Jeno stops short in the doorway, a soft smile crossing his features as he looks their way.

“You okay?” Donghyuck asks softly.

Jeno doesn’t reply, instead, as he comes round the back of the sofa to take his place, he stops to plant a kiss on the top of Donghyuck’s head.

It doesn’t take long for Donghyuck to let his head fall back onto Jaemin’s shoulder, and Jaemin smiles, faintly.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANOTHER DOUBLE UPDATE CAUSE I LOVE PROCRASTINATING AND PUTTING OFF HOMEWORK SO MUCH. ENJOY!!!

“No, no-” Donghyuck laughs, pulling on Jeno’s arm as the man drags him across the room. Jeno’s laughing too, and they barely manage to stay on their feet. “No, don’t!” Donghyuck squeaks.

“Come on, Hyuckie, we’ve been dating for three weeks, I want to see your art!” Jeno protests, swinging Donghyuck round on the end of his arm so that Donghyuck stumbles.

They’re in the cafe at present, halfway between where they had been sitting and the door. Donghyuck had mentioned his art in passing, and Jeno at first had been horrified to realise he hadn’t asked Donghyuck what he did for a living yet, and then he’d been dying to see Donghyuck’s work.

“It’s horrible,” Donghyuck protests weakly, though he knows it’s not, and besides, he’s still laughing way too hard for him to be taken seriously.

Jeno pulls him closer and says, “Then as a devoted boyfriend I will pretend that it’s wonderful.”

Donghyuck smiles up at him ruefully. “Fine, let’s go,” Donghyuck agrees, grabbing Jeno’s hand and pulling him out onto the street and–

\--

Hurrying down the street, Jaemin keeps his head turned down to avoid the worst of the wind.

He’s in a rush because he’s got an interview with the local university for a temporary position and he wants to get coffee first. The normal cafe is the closest coffee shop that he trusts and he’s almost made it to the door when two people that he knows all too well come stumbling out of it, giggling and clinging to each other.

They all crash into each other, but Jeno and Donghyuck hardly stop laughing. “Jaemin, hi,” Donghyuck says weakly, clinging onto Jeno. “How are you?”

Jaemin looks between the two of them and feels his heart sink. “I’m fine,” he replies blandly. “I’m just in a bit of a rush, so-”

Trying to squeeze past them to get inside the café, he keeps his head down.

Jeno grabs his arm as he tries to push past them, pulling him to a stop. Jaemin looks at him in surprise, and the feeling is echoed on Jeno’s face. He recovers quickly saying, “Hyuck was just about to show me what he does for a living. He’s an artist. Did you know he has an exhibition? You want to come too?”

Jaemin had known, in fact, though he’d never seen any of Donghyuck’s work. On one hand, Jaemin would love to see Donghyuck’s work, and he’d love to talk with Donghyuck about his art – even though he knows nothing about art – but on the other hand, he really can’t miss this interview and, honestly, he doesn’t want to spend much time with both Jeno and Donghyuck when they’re acting like this. Their hands are still intertwined, and Jaemin can barely stand to be around them. Jaemin bites his lip. “Maybe some other time?” he says, directed at Donghyuck. He then glances between the two of them, nervously, as though they might react badly to his suggestion. 

Donghyuck nods, giving him a quick smile, and Jaemin melts a little inside. “Sure, come round to mine any time,” Donghyuck tells him, and that makes Jaemin heart rate pick up.

Jaemin again glances between Jeno and Donghyuck, trying to stay calm. He smiles, and it feels forced even to him, and nods. “Well, I’ll see you around. Have a- Have a nice day.”

He then pushes past them, heading straight into the cafe.

The interview goes well, and he leaves feeling pretty sure that he’s got the position. It is only a temporary job, but it’s a chance to prove that he can do it and who knows where it will take him. When he was younger, he thought that he’d become a politician, but now he’s decided that teaching people is what he’s best at. Teaching gives him the chance to show young people – albeit not that much younger than him – how the world can be.

Also he’s very good at speeches, so the lecture form of university suits him well.

He can’t wait to tell Jeno, and when he bursts through the door, he finds Jeno laid out on the sofa, watching some show that Donghyuck got him into.

“You seem happy,” Jeno comments, smiling up at him from his seat. 

Jaemin goes to flop down on the sofa with him, telling him proudly, “I just had an interview with the university. It went really well.”

Jeno’s surprise and delight shows on his face. “Nana, that’s great!”

Jaemin grins back at him and lets himself get tugged into a hug, burying his face into Jeno’s neck and hugging him back tightly. Jeno gives good hugs.

He pulls back as soon as he starts thinking about how many of these hugs Donghyuck probably gets, feeling irritated at himself for being resentful of something so trivial and also for ruining a good moment. Jeno must see something in his face because he frowns, looking more than a little sad.

“What’s going on, Nana?” Jeno asks.

Jaemin forces a smile back onto his face. “Nothing, why?”

“You’ve been pretty distant,” Jeno says, with a shrug, “and, uh, you don’t seem all that keen on Donghyuck and me.”

Jaemin knows that his smile drops a little, but he hopes that Jeno doesn’t notice.

“I’ve been busy,” Jaemin says. “Anyway, that’s absurd. I’m very happy for you and Donghyuck.”

Even he thinks it doesn’t sound right, and he can’t imagine how forced it must sound to Jeno.

Jeno chews at his lip, looking concerned. “Are you sure?”

Jaemin nods. “Positive.”

_Not at all._

_Not one single bit._

\--

When Donghyuck wakes up, his son is lying on top of him, their noses pressed together while he stares down at him. The second his eyes blink open, his own widen. “Can we go to the zoo?” He asks, instantly.

“Why?” Donghyuck responds, still half-asleep. “We went last month.”

“I really like the zoo,” Jisung tells him, something he already knows.

He likes the zoo also, however, so he smiles up at him before rolling onto his side so he falls onto the soft mattress. “Alright,” he says, “but we’re inviting Jeno.”

Jisung nods ecstatically, beaming broadly. “Can we invite Jaemin, too?”

Donghyuck’s not sure how much Jaemin will like that, but he can’t bring himself to say no to his little boy, so he says, “I’ll ask him."

Besides, it does technically help with the scheme that Jeno and he are failing to pull together.

\--

When he gets a call from Donghyuck the next day, Jaemin scrambles to answer it, all the while knowing just how pathetic he is.

“Donghyuck, hi,” he says into the phone.

Donghyuck’s laugh greets him, but he’s not sure why Donghyuck’s laughing. “Hello, Jaemin. This might sound odd – Jisung get off – but Sungie and I were wondering if you’d like to come to the zoo with us and Jeno.”

“Oh,” Jaemin says, surprised.

He hears Jisung saying, “Papa, give me the phone,” urgently, while Donghyuck continues to laugh, most likely holding it out of reach of his boy. “So?” Donghyuck asks. “You coming, or what?”

“I-” Jaemin starts, but that’s as far as he gets before he hears a little commotion on the other end, and suddenly Jisung’s voice is chattering into his ear.

“Jaemin, you have to come because you need to see the penguins,” he tells him earnestly. “It’s gonna be so much better than your boring day will be.”

Jaemin laughs. “Alright, Sungie, I’ll come.”

He lets out an excited cry and clearly throws the phone back to his papa, because a second later, Donghyuck is saying, “I guess you’re coming?”

“I guess I am. I’ll have to meet you guys there, though, but I’ll send Jeno over to yours if you want.”

“Oh,” Donghyuck says, “sure that sounds great. We’ll probably be there around eleven, does that sound alright?”

“Perfect. I’ll see you later, Donghyuck,” he says, and when Donghyuck echoes the statement he hangs up, dropping the phone immediately and trying to stop his hands from shaking. He’s not entirely sure why he agreed to go; now he has to spend the day with both Jeno and Donghyuck, no doubt being very couple-y. On the upside, they are his friends, and maybe spending time with them will help him get used to them being a _them_.

When he leaves for the zoo, he walks slowly, meandering along the streets in the direction of the local street food and popping into the cafe to buy a coffee. He’s done with it by the time he arrives and he tosses the cup into the nearest bin as he leans up against a wall to wait for the others.

Maybe he’s a little nervous, and maybe he’d spent a little extra time making sure he didn’t look God-awful, but he doesn’t think his nerves show.

Jisung comes running up to him as he watches the people go by, and he crouches down to his level to give him a big hug before pulling back and saying, “Hey there, Jisungie.”

Jisung beams at him, and as he stands up, the younger grabs his hand. Jeno and Donghyuck walk up behind Jisung, a little slower, and Jaemin eyes dart to their joined hands for a moment. He can do this. He can. He gives them both a grin. “Hi, guys,” he says.

“Hey, Jaemin,” Jeno replies.

Jisung starts tugging on his hand, and Jaemin looks down at him expectantly. “Come on,” he whines, attempting to drag him towards the entrance.

He laughs and glances up at Jeno and Donghyuck as he lets himself be pulled along.

Jeno and Donghyuck follow them around the zoo, at a slightly slower pace, while Jaemin and Jisung move from animal to animal at a much faster rate. Jaemin is a little disappointed that he barely talks to Jeno and Donghyuck, but he’s also very glad that Jisung is keeping him busy.

Jeno brought his camera with him, and he takes a lot of photos of Donghyuck, but also regularly takes photos of Jaemin and Jisung. When Jaemin picks Jisung up to help him see into an enclosure, Jeno turns the camera on them. He snaps the photo just as Jisung says something that makes Jaemin laugh, and his wide smile with his head thrown back is captured. Jisung’s grinning up at him.

At one point, he passes the camera to Jaemin and makes him take a photo of him, Donghyuck, and Jisung. Donghyuck holds Jisung in his arms and Jeno wraps his arm around Donghyuck’s waist as they smile at the camera.

Jaemin snaps the picture, and then holds it out for them to see. “Aww,” Donghyuck says, looking down at it, “aren’t we cute?”

Jeno laughs. “We’re so cute,” he agrees.

The worst thing is, Jaemin can’t disagree. They’re so cute.

He ends up in a competition of sorts with Jeno on animal trivia. Jeno knows more, obviously, but Jaemin grew up as his best friend so knows quite a bit too. Donghyuck looks impressed about their innate knowledge, and declares, “If I ever take part in a pub quiz, you guys are on my team.”

Jeno and Jaemin act very serious about this appointment, nodding at him.

“We won’t let you down,” Jaemin promises.

Donghyuck laughs, but then Jisung yanks hard on Jaemin’s arm and he gets dragged away to see a duck. He hears both Donghyuck and Jeno laugh behind him; he probably looks a right scene with his too-long limbs and his floppy hair as he gets dragged along behind the short six-year-old.

Finishing the circuit of the zoo, Jaemin has Jisung on his back, and he spins round, making the little boy squeal in delight. Jisung lets go of his shoulders for a second, and Jaemin panics and clutches the younger's legs tighter. Jisung peers down at him. “I’m not going to fall.”

He laughs. “You just had me worried there, that’s all, Sungie.”

He crouches down and lets Jisung hop off. Jeno and Donghyuck catch up to them, and Jeno smiles. “We were thinking of going out to get coffee, would you like to join us?”

He looks at his watch and fidgets a little, thinking that today has been brilliant, but a closed space with the two of them might be pushing it a little. “Uh, no,” he says at last. “I should probably get back; I have a lot of work to do.”

“You sure?” Donghyuck asks, sounding, for some reason, a little disappointed.

Jaemin nods. If he has to sit across from them in a café, he might lose it. “Absolutely, I’m sorry. You guys have fun, though.” Jisung tugs on his hand and he looks down at her, saying, “I’ll see you around, Sungie. Make sure your papa brings you to the cafe next time we’re all there, yeah?”

He nods and says, “Okay, Jaemin,” cheerfully, his young mind not seeing anything wrong. He smiles, a little weakly, and then says goodbye to them all. He tries to walk normally away from them, fighting the urge to run. 

\--

Jeno and Donghyuck exchange a defeated look. But, as Jeno says optimistically, at least he came.

\--

Heading straight for Minhyung’s, Jaemin keeps his head down and desperately tries not to think – not an easy task.

“There is nothing worse than this,” is his opening line, before he realises that Taeil and Doyoung are both sitting on the sofa in the background.

Minhyung nods, sympathetically, and invites him in.

“What’s so bad?” Taeil asks when he sits down.

Jaemin grimaces and quickly weighs up the pros and cons of other people knowing. In the end, he decides that he simply doesn’t care anymore. “Being in love with my best friend and his boyfriend.”

Doyoung chokes and goes bright red. Minhyung whacks him on the back, which only serves to make things worse.

Taeil, however, remains calm. “Yep, that doesn’t sound good.”

Jaemin shakes his head, sullenly. “It’s not.”

\--

“We’re going to the cafe,” Jeno tells him, switching the TV off, mid-episode.

Jaemin doesn’t protest; he just quietly follows Jeno to the car, staring out the window for the duration of the journey.

When they get there, he quickly throws himself into a conversation with Renjun.

Of course, he notices when Donghyuck arrives, but he pretends he doesn’t and when Jisung runs straight over to him, jumping onto his lap, he gives him a short hug as he continues his conversation with Renjun.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees Jeno leans over to give Donghyuck a kiss, whispering a quiet hello with a pleased smile.

Donghyuck wanders away down to the other end of the table, and Jaemin desperately tries to continue his conversation as Jisung stands on his knee to attempt to mess his hair up. He tugs and pulls a fair amount, but he seems happy so Jaemin keeps his winces to a minimum.

Jisung gives up fairly soon and he hops off Jaemin’s knee and moves to sit on Jeno’s. The man looks surprised but pleased and he laughs as the younger makes a grab for his glasses, putting them on and peering at him owlishly through them. Jaemin watches and stifles a laugh as Jeno pulls faces at the little boy, who can probably barely see him through the prescription glasses. Jeno takes them back, saying, “You’ll give yourself a headache, love.”

Renjun elbows him, since the conversation has tailed off. Jaemin looks back at him abruptly and flushes, mumbling an apology.

\--

Donghyuck giggles, watching Jeno and Jisung, and when he glances back at Seulgi and Kun, they’re watching him with grins on their faces.

“You really like him, huh?” Seulgi says.

Donghyuck lets out a pleased sigh. “More than you could know.”

\--

Later, Renjun sends Jaemin across to buy them drinks, pressing some money into his hand. Jaemin doesn’t realise his real reasoning until he’s standing side-by-side at the bar with Donghyuck.

“Having a good night?” Donghyuck asks him, smiling.

Jaemin looks up at him in surprise and for a second a soft smile crosses his features. “Well enough,” is his answer, and for a moment he looks back at Jeno, his heart pounding.

Donghyuck frowns. “Something the matter?” he asks, and Jaemin wants to scream. 

He doesn’t, of course, and instead he stares back at him for a long moment before he says, “No, everything’s great.” Jaemin coughs and looks over at the bartender who is still too busy to take their order, and eventually Jaemin tensely says, “You and Jeno seem to be doing well.”

He doesn’t want to talk about it at all, but if he’s trying to get over them, then maybe it’s the way. People say that talking about things that make you sad can help you get past it.

Donghyuck says, “We don’t have to talk about that,” and Jaemin is getting more concerned about the fact that Donghyuck might know. “I know you’re his best friend,” Donghyuck then adds, “it must be a little odd.”

Jaemin smiles, mostly out of relief, and he says, “Shouldn’t my being one of his best friends mean that I should interrogate the boyfriend?”

Donghyuck laughs at that and it makes Jaemin feel warm and bubbly. He loves making Donghyuck laugh. “I guess so,” Donghyuck says, “but there’s not really much to tell. He’s great with the kid and he’s nice and funny and-” he leans in closer conspiratorially and Jaemin wants to lean in too “-he’s a really great kisser.” He gives Jaemin a wink at that before turning to order a glass of water from the bartender who is finally free, while Jaemin flounders. He didn’t want to hear that. Not at all. But now he has, and he knows he’s not going to be able to get the thought out of his mind. “You want anything?” Donghyuck asks, and Jaemin has to force his stunned expression into a neutral one very quickly.

He orders the strongest drink he can name and as soon as it gets passed to him, he lifts it to his mouth and takes a large gulp.

“Easy there,” Donghyuck laughs, giving him a somewhat concerned look. “We don’t want you dancing on the tables by the end of the night.” Jaemin gives him an indignant look, and Donghyuck then smirks. “On second thought…” he adds.

Jaemin tries not to smile at that, but he can’t resist, and he finds himself using the bar to prop him up.

“Hey, I wanted to say thanks,” Donghyuck suddenly says to Jaemin as they stand there. Jaemin raises his eyebrows questioningly, and Donghyuck clarifies, “For being so sweet to Jisung.”

It seems such an odd thing for him to be thanking Jaemin for, and Jaemin’s face breaks into a smile. “Oh, he’s a lovely boy, I don’t mind at all.” He’s being completely truthful. Jisung is fun to be around, and he doesn’t mind indulging his childish whims.

“Well, he certainly likes you,” Donghyuck laughs. “Jeno and I have a theory that he fancies you.”

A hot flush works its way onto Jaemin face, and he protests, “He’s six!”

That only makes Donghyuck laugh more, and Jaemin’s heart can’t take much more of this. “But he has eyes,” Donghyuck jokes, making Jaemin blush more.“He’s six and already knows what a hot piece of ass you are,” he adds, winking at Jaemin. Jaemin thinks his legs might give out beneath him if Donghyuck keeps this up. Thankfully, the man changes track just then. “Still,” Donghyuck says, “you put up with a fair amount from him. You do know you can say no, right?”

“I know,” Jaemin tells him with a grin. “I’ve never wanted to say no, though.”

Donghyuck gives him a disbelieving look. “Not even that time he put Joohyun’s makeup on you?”

Jaemin laughs loudly, remembering the moment. “Oh, God, I’d blocked that from my memory. Why did no one think to point out the fact that Joohyun noona’s skin is a little bit lighter than mine, therefore her foundation would be too?”

Donghyuck grins. “We knew, we just thought it’d be funnier to let it happen.”

“You bastard,” Jaemin chokes out, laughing in surprise. He should have known.

“The mascara and lipstick looked good though,” Donghyuck points out, and Jaemin wants to bury his face in his hands.

“I did quite like the lipstick,” he admits, and Donghyuck’s face lights up in a smile.

“Maybe you should get some of your own,” Donghyuck suggests, and Jaemin thinks about it for a moment. 

He’s just about to say that he just might do that when Jeno interrupts their conversation, appearing at Donghyuck’s side and wrapping an arm around him. Jaemin freezes, feeling terrified that Jeno will realise that he was flirting with his boyfriend. However, the man simply says, “I’m going to head home; I’ve got an early shift at the hospital tomorrow,” with a smile directed at Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck smiles up at him. “Alright, make sure you get plenty of sleep.”

Jeno hums and bends down to give him a quick kiss. Seeing them kiss always brings about a plethora of emotions for Jaemin. On one hand, it makes him feel unbelievably jealous that they can just do that whenever they want, and Jaemin would give anything to be able to kiss them too. On the other hand, seeing them together makes him ridiculously happy. He thinks back to the night that they got together, remembers seeing them curled up on the sofa and how seeing them like that had stirred some kind of happiness in him.

Jeno looks at Jaemin and gives him a quick goodbye, saying that he’ll see him soon. After that he leaves, waving a goodbye to their friends at the table.

Jaemin suddenly doesn’t feel like he can keep up the bubbly personality and he quickly makes an excuse to head back to the table, grabbing his drink off the side and taking a large drink of it as he goes. Donghyuck smiles at him as he leaves, and that only makes it so much worse for Jaemin. He goes straight for Minhyung, sitting down heavily next to his best friend and breathing out. Minhyung squeezes his knee under the table and quietly asks, “Are you alright?”

“I’m grand, hyung,” Jaemin says, and then takes another large gulp of the drink.

Renjun hits him lightly on the head. “You didn’t get me my drink!”

Jaemin feels a twinge of guilt. “Sorry, I got a little distracted.”

That only makes Minhyung and Renjun giggle, and Renjun says, “Yes, we saw.” So, apparently Renjun knows about his other crush, too.

He spends the rest of the evening distracting himself in a debate with Renjun and Minhyung, but when he sees Donghyuck getting ready to leave, a sleepy Jisung clinging to his neck, he jumps to his feet and hurries after them. “Is there any chance I could get a lift back to mine?” he asks, knowing that he’s not too out of the way for them, like he is for most everyone else – not that anyone would begrudge him a lift.

Jisung reaches out for Jaemin with grabby hands, and Donghyuck passes him across, saying that of course he could give him a lift. Jaemin shifts Jisung round so that he balances on his hip as he carries the little one to the car.

Jisung sits in the car seat in the back of the car, and Jaemin spends most of the journey half-turned around in his passenger seat to listen to his tired rambling.

Every now and then he sneaks glances at Donghyuck, who seems to be smiling at nothing, and though it’s most likely his son's nonsensical talk that’s making him amused, Jaemin allows himself the pretence that it’s his presence.

\--

“Do you ever think we went too fast?” Jeno asks one day, four weeks into their relationship, as they lie together, tangled up in his bed.

Donghyuck shakes his head, both disagreeing and nuzzling further into his neck. “No, I think we’re doing it just right.” He hears Jeno breathe out through his nose as he smiles and Donghyuck peeks up at him. “I’ve never been in love before, but I can’t imagine that many people take it much slower. Why wait?”

Jeno looks down at him, a look of amazement in his eyes. “You’re in love with me?”

Donghyuck nods, smiling, not in the slightest wanting to take back what he’d said. “I am.”

Jeno pulls him up for a kiss. “I love you, too.”


	8. Chapter 8

Donghyuck ducks as Sicheng swings at his head, narrowly avoiding the hit. He curses as he springs back, swinging out at Sicheng’s side.

Jisung’s engrossed in his book, not even slightly paying attention to the beating his papa’s taking.

Sweat drips down Donghyuck’s neck from the exertion. Sicheng’s also coated in a fine layer of sweat, his skin glistening a little as he jabs at Donghyuck, aiming for his ribs.

Donghyuck calls time-out not long later, breathing heavily and hunching over immediately. 

Sicheng claps him on the back, panting, and the two of them head for their bags for towels and water. Jisung pulls a face at them, not-so-politely informing them that they stink.

Later on as they leave the gym together, Donghyuck asks Sicheng if he can look after Jisung for the rest of the day. “Jeno invited me over,” he explains. “Jaemin is out,” he adds with a wink.

Sicheng laughs. “Yeah, why not, I’ll look after him; you go and have crazy sex with your doctor boyfriend.”

Donghyuck makes an indignant sound and puts his hands over Jisung’s ears as they walk. He bats at his hands while he says, “No crude language around my son.”

When he removes his hands, Jisung looks up and him. “Are you and Jeno having sex?” He asks.

Donghyuck chokes, while Sicheng bursts into laughter.

“You’re six!” Donghyuck exclaims. “You shouldn’t know what that is till you’re nine at least.”

He just shrugs.

Sicheng gives Jisung a piggyback the rest of the way to the bus stop and when they get there, they go their separate ways, Jisung to Sicheng’s and Donghyuck to Jeno’s.

\--

Donghyuck runs his hands down the smooth skin on Jeno’s back, fingernails scratching a little, moaning as Jeno bites down on his neck. “Ah- Ah fuck,” Donghyuck breathes when Jeno sucks down on his skin.

One of Donghyuck’s legs is wrapped around Jeno’s waist as they lie on Jeno’s sofa, and he brings their hips together, grinding up. Both their shirts lie on the floor, shoes kicked off too, though their trousers remain on.

Jeno groans and moves to capture Donghyuck’s lips instead.

Pressing against each other, hands everywhere, they kiss intensely, desperately yearning for more.

“Oh, God, you’re gorgeous,” Jeno moans against Donghyuck’s lips as he presses down into him. When he pulls back, Donghyuck looks up at him with hooded eyelids and a pleased smirk on his face.

Jeno looks glorious above him, a laugh in his eyes and a thrilled grin on his lips. Jeno dips down for another kiss and Donghyuck pushes up into him, his breath stuttering. When Jeno slowly starts to work his way down Donghyuck’s body, planting a trail of kisses, Donghyuck all but loses the ability to breathe.

Jeno pins Donghyuck’s arms above his head as he sucks hard at Donghyuck’s collarbone, and Donghyuck moans, his eyes fluttering shut.

Later, they lie curled up together on the sofa, facing each other, trading kisses lazily. “I’ve been thinking,” Jeno starts, following up his words with another kiss. Donghyuck makes a humming sound in question as he carefully kisses Jeno’s jawline. “I’ve been thinking that maybe we should just tell Jaemin.” 

Donghyuck hums again. “I’ve been thinking the same thing. It’s been, what, five weeks now?

“Yeah,” Jeno says, kissing Donghyuck again. “I don’t think he’ll ever speak up. He’ll think he’s being selfish, or something.”

Donghyuck chuckles. “What are we going to say, though? I mean, ‘hey we’re both in love with you but didn’t tell you’ sounds kind of asshole-ish.”

Jeno laughs, tilting his head back a little to allow Donghyuck better access to his neck. Donghyuck willingly sets to work on giving Jeno an impressive hickey. “You’re right. Well, we’ll tell him next week, which gives us plenty of time to work something out.” He stifles a moan as Donghyuck sucks harder on his neck. “Ah- And if we don’t have anything planned by, say, Wednesday of next week, we’ll just wing it.”

Donghyuck carefully shifts them so that he’s lying on top of Jeno, and he pulls away from his neck, propping himself up on his elbows either side of Jeno. He looks down at Jeno with a smile. “That sounds like a plan.”

Jeno beams up at him and brushes a strand of his hair back behind his ear. “I love you,” Jeno says, and Donghyuck’s entire body courses with happiness at the words.

“You too,” he replies, dipping down and planting a firm kiss on his lips. Jeno responds by immediately thrusting upwards, and Donghyuck stifles a needy sound. “What if- What if Jaemin gets back?” he pants as Jeno rubs himself up against him.

“So what if he does?” Jeno murmurs, his voice deeper as he looks up at Donghyuck, hands edging down.

“No- No, you are not going to get me off by dirty talking about Jaemin,” Donghyuck protests, though really he thinks nothing would be better.

“Oh, really?” Jeno asks, raising an eyebrow, seeing the challenge.

Jeno pulls back a little to grin at him and give him a bruising kiss.

In the end, Jeno does manage to get Donghyuck off dirty talking about Jaemin. Unsurprisingly, it’s very easy to do so.

\--

It’s very confusing, Jaemin thinks, being in love with two people. There’s always that feeling of guilt, whenever he thinks about one of them for too long, as though he’s betraying the other. It’s ridiculous, because he’s not dating either of them, nor will he by the looks of things between Jeno and Donghyuck. It’s confusing.

In his dreams he vies for their attention, or he finds himself with one while the other screams angrily, or, the worst, he watches as Jeno and Donghyuck fall in love and leave him behind.

In his waking hours, he spends most of his time trying to focus on his work and only being able to think about them. It’s ridiculous; Jeno has never been this much of a distraction. He’s been in love with Jeno for years and it was only a problem when they got a little too close, or Jeno looked at him just so.

Now, however, he finds it difficult to think of anything but his current… situation.

He tries to rationalise it, telling himself that it’s not going to last forever, and that he’ll get over it. Feelings are powerful, according to Taeil, and Jaemin can testify to that, but that’s all it is. Feelings. He can get past it.

But then Donghyuck will grin at him with that crooked smile of his, or Jeno will do something really nice for him like that dinner he cooked when Jaemin was late back from the library one night.

He laughs at Donghyuck’s jokes a little too much sometimes, and he stares at Jeno one time too many, and he’s starting to think he’s being too obvious.

Being in love with Jeno had never been a distraction. The only new variable is that Jeno is dating Donghyuck.

Jaemin is jealous. He has to admit it to himself, because it’s the truth. Every time Donghyuck takes Jeno’s hand, Jaemin wishes it was him that Donghyuck was reaching out for. Every time Jeno spends the day with Donghyuck, coming home with laughter and stories to tell, Jaemin wishes that he’d been with them in the stories and experienced them first hand, the two men laughing along next to him. Every time Donghyuck waltzes into their flat and greets Jeno with a kiss, Jaemin wishes that he could do that.

It’s a never-ending torture but still he lives for the moments in which Donghyuck or Jeno spare a smile for him, or brush against him, or-

He’s so pathetic.

It’s getting harder to pretend, harder to be around them, and at times he thinks he’s about to burst. The words that he just can’t say to them weigh heavily on his tongue, ready to fall out of his mouth at any second.

He wants to scream ‘I love you’ from the top of his lungs.

He can’t and he doesn’t. He can’t ruin this for his friends. They make each other so happy, and it’s plain to see.

The problem comes when Jaemin gets home from the library early to find Jeno sprawled out on the sofa, wearing nothing but his underwear, a layer of sweat coating his muscles and a blissed out expression across his face. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out, and the sound of the shower running in the bathroom really gives it away.

“What the fuck?” Jaemin growls, and Jeno darts upright, looking nothing short of horrified.

“Jaemin,” he squeaks, “you’re not supposed to be back yet.”

Jaemin glares at him, and Jeno looks equal parts embarrassed and sorry. “Well I am. Sorry I didn’t give you time to clean up. Sounds like Donghyuck made it though.” He’s shaking as he stares at Jeno, feeling like he’s standing at a fifty foot drop, about to jump right off it. “What were you thinking?” he asks, his voice coming out louder than he meant it to.

He picks up Jeno’s trousers off the floor and throws them at him. “Get dressed,” he snaps.

Jeno does as he’s told, quickly pulling on his pants and looking horribly ashamed.

“Do you have to fuck him on our sofa?” Jaemin demands, feeling like he’s going to collapse any second and finding strength in his anger. Jeno and he sit on that sofa; they watch TV together there; Jaemin slept with Jeno’s arms wrapped around him on that sofa.

His eyes flick over to the door, and he sees Donghyuck standing there. He flinches away, as the image of Donghyuck and Jeno pressed against each other fills his mind unbearably. He can’t be here anymore.

“You know what?” Jaemin then says, slowly. “Do whatever the fuck you want. I don’t care anymore.”

He heads for his bedroom before he does something foolish, shoving past Donghyuck on the way and desperately trying to ignore the hurt look on the man’s face.

He’s barely made it to his room before the tears start. His whole body shakes as he leans against his door and sinks to the floor. Jeno’s almost-naked body. Donghyuck’s damp hair. Their clothes littering the floor of the living room. The images fill his mind, and it’s all too real. A sob wrenches from his throat.

It hurts, so much he thinks he might never be able to get up again.

He sniffs, and a second later there’s a knock on his door.

“Jaemin?” Donghyuck’s voice calls to him from the other side of the door. “It’s me. Donghyuck.”

Jaemin doesn’t reply, trying to find a way to control his breathing and to stop crying.

\--

Donghyuck stands outside the door for a moment, listening, and he hears a loud sniff. Donghyuck leans his forehead against the door. “Jaemin?” he calls, not wanting to eavesdrop. “It’s me. Donghyuck.”

Jaemin doesn’t reply, so he carries on. “I’m really sorry about what happened. We just- We didn’t mean for it to happen.” He thinks about Jeno fucking him into the cushions, Jaemin’s name on his lips, and how it was the direct opposite of unintentional.

“Go away, Donghyuck,” Jaemin finally calls back, his voice slightly too thick for him to be fine.

Donghyuck slides to the floor, leaning his back against the door. “Please, forgive us.”

“Is Jeno there?” Jaemin asks, a moment later.

“No, it’s just me.”

He hears Jaemin breathe out heavily. “Just don’t do that on the sofa anymore, okay? I don’t want to see or know anything about that.”

Donghyuck nods before he remembers that Jaemin can’t see him. He coughs slightly. “Okay,” he says. “We’re really sorry.”

“Me too,” Jaemin replies, but when Donghyuck asks what for, he doesn’t give an answer.

Donghyuck leaves their flat not long after that, needing to go pick Jisung up from Sicheng’s. He gives Jeno a kiss, quietly saying, “We really need to talk to him.”

“Wednesday,” Jeno promises.

“Wednesday,” Donghyuck agrees.

He leaves with a smile.

\--

“We’re really sorry,” Donghyuck says again, and he really does sound like he means it.

“Me too,” Jaemin replies, the rest he doesn’t say aloud, but it follows in his mind. I’m sorry that I can’t stop being in love with you.

Donghyuck asks, “What for?” and Jaemin doesn’t reply. Eventually Jaemin hears the sounds of Donghyuck walking away down the corridor, and he breathes out heavily. 

He texts Minhyung, not at all wanting Jeno or Donghyuck to hear.

'You’ll never guess what just happened.'

Minhyung doesn’t take more than twelve seconds to reply: 'TELL ME'

Jaemin can’t even smile as he texts back: 'I just walked in on the aftermath of Jeno and Hyuck fucking on my sofa.'

He can almost hear the sympathy in Minhyung’s voice when he replies, and Jaemin asks if he can come over. 'I can’t stay in this flat.' He tells Minhyung.

'ofc. Doyoung is at Joohyuns we have the flat to ourselves let’s binge eat ice cream and watch life is beautiful'

Jaemin does smile at that; that sounds pretty good to him.

When he hears Donghyuck leave, he gets to his feet and wipes at his face. Checking himself in the mirror, his eyes don’t look too red. Quickly packing a bag, he feels like he’s in a race against time. How long will it take for Jeno to decide that they need to talk about this?

Jeno’s nowhere to be seen when Jaemin leaves his room, and he takes that as a sign that the other man doesn’t want to talk about it just yet. He scrawls a note and leaves it on the table telling him where he’s gone.

By the time he gets to Minhyung’s, he’s downright miserable, and he falls willingly into his best friend’s arms.

As planned, they dig out a tub of ice cream and set it between them, eating it straight out of the tub, while Two Weddings and A Funeral plays. About halfway through, Jaemin mumbles, “This is not a feel-good series.”

Minhyung laughs. “Yeah, I’d almost forgotten.”

Minhyung has many flaws, but his ability to cheer up his friends is not one of them, and Jaemin lets out a loud laugh before joining in.

Predictably, they both end up sobbing at the funeral scene and Minhyung starts stress-eating the ice cream as the others start to argue.

Finally, well fed and feeling comfortable, they curl up on the sofa. In the darkness of the room, with Minhyung snoring next to him, what happened earlier makes a reappearance at the forefront of Jaemin’s mind. He feels his stomach twist at the thought of the two men together.

The blue-purple bruise-like mark on Jeno’s collarbone simply won’t leave his mind, and neither will the picture that his brain conjures up of Donghyuck pressing down on Jeno, mouth sucking, biting, at Jeno’s skin with the intention of leaving such a mark.

It takes a long time for him to fall asleep, and when he does, all he knows is that he has to tell them. If only so that he can start to move on.

\--

Jaemin spends the day at Minhyung’s, even though he knows that Jeno will be out till late at the hospital. Minhyung doesn’t question it, or even try to get him to talk to him about it.

Eventually, Jaemin starts the conversation. “I think I need to tell them,” he starts slowly.

Minhyung waits patiently for him to elaborate.

“Not to… ruin anything between them. I think they need to know. Or I need them to know. So that I can stop thinking about it so much.”

Minhyung hums thoughtfully.

“Keeping it a secret is just making me stressed and on edge,” Jaemin decides. “If I tell them, I can learn to relax around them, and I can get over them.”

Minhyung says, “At the end of the day, it’s your choice, Jaemin.”

“If you were them,” Jaemin says, “would you want to know?”

Minhyung doesn’t answer for a moment, pulling a face like he’s thinking really hard, and then, slowly, he says, “Yes. I think I would.”

Dropping his gaze to the floor, Jaemin thinks about it for a long moment. Finally, in a voice that’s almost timid, he asks, “You don’t think they’ll hate me, do you?”

Minhyung tousles his hair and gives him a warm smile. “I have absolutely no doubt in my mind when I say that they will not hate you.”

Still uncertain, Jaemin asks, “How can you know that?”

That’s when Minhyung pulls him into a hug, clutching him against his chest and saying, into his hair mostly, “I just do, Nana. Jeno’s your best friend, and Hyuckie is so lovely. They won’t hate you. I know for a fact that hatred is not what they are going to feel for you.”

“I have to tell them,” Jaemin mutters. Minhyung responds by squeezing him tightly and letting go.

Minhyung and Taeil go out for dinner together that night, though not without checking, double-checking, and triple-checking with Jaemin that he’ll be okay without them. “We’ll probably go to Joohyun’s after, okay? Doyoung will be in, though. If you decide to go back to yours just leave a note, or something.”

Jaemin nods along to Minhyung’s unnecessary ramblings, and allows Taeil’s multiple hugs. Finally, he hurries them out the door, rolling his eyes and saying, “My heart’s hurting, not my legs, I’ll be okay on my own.” (That might not have been the right thing to say, however, because Taeil and Minhyung both hug him, then, not seeming to want to let go for a good minute.)

He doesn’t see much of Doyoung – only once does the man leave his room, and that’s just to get some more herbal tea – so Jaemin pretty much feels like he’s home alone. He tries to watch TV, and then he tries to read (a poetry book he found on the floor, most likely Taeil’s), and after that he tries to sleep for a while. None of these things distract him, and he winds up thinking about how he’s going to explain himself to Donghyuck and Jeno. That only leads to him upsetting himself, getting stressed about how they’ll react.

In the end, he grabs his jacket and shoves on his shoes, scrawling a note to Doyoung and the others to say he’s gone home, and heads straight for Donghyuck’s.

\--

The next day, Donghyuck doesn’t see either Jeno or Jaemin. Everyone goes out for drinks at the cafe, but Jeno’s working and Jaemin declines the offer. Sicheng’s sister, Xiening, is once again blessedly looking after Jisung, meaning that Donghyuck doesn’t have to keep an eye on him all night.

That’s probably how he ends up mediating Seulgi and Kun’s drinking game. They ask if he wants to play, clearly not having noticed how he never drinks, but when he turns down the offer they insist he watches the game for cheating.

He’s not quite sure how their game works, nor how to tell who’s cheating, but if he had to guess, he’d assume that Joohyun was winning, despite not officially playing.

He guesses this because she’s drunk just as much, if not more, than them and is still the most sober. He thinks that might be the bitch part of her. That or she can just really hold her liquor.

He gets home late, apologising over and over to Xiening and insisting on paying her extra, despite her insistence that Jisung went to bed ages ago and all she’s done is steal his Wi-Fi.

Donghyuck decides to do some painting, having neglected his work for a couple of days, and he settles in for a long night, putting both his headphones in and turning the music up.

He only notices someone’s calling him because he happens to see the light out of the corner of his eye. Caller I.D. tells him it’s Jaemin, and he picks up cautiously.

“Donghyuck? I’m outside, can you let me in?” Jaemin asks, sounding shaken.

Donghyuck immediately heads for the door. “I’ll be right there,” he promises, and then hangs up.

Yanking open the door as he puts his phone in his pocket, he finds Jaemin standing there, looking scared and pale.

Jaemin seems to be on the verge of tears, and Donghyuck realises that he’s never seen Jaemin when he’s not fully in control before. “I know it’s late, but you once said that I could come round any time, and I know that was probably just a figure of speech or at least meant daylight hours, or something, but I really need to talk to you, Donghyuck.”


	9. Chapter 9

“…I really need to talk to you, Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck stumbles back a step and holds the door open wide to let Jaemin in. “Come in, just, God, are you okay?” he asks, and when Jaemin shakes his head in response, for once not trusting his voice, Donghyuck offers his arms, holding them open in a suggestion.

Jaemin falls right into them, clinging to him, shaking and trying to concentrate on the soft soothing noises that Donghyuck’s making, while also deeply breathing in the smell of Donghyuck – acrylic paint and strong coffee, primarily.

Donghyuck’s the one to pull away, gently taking Jaemin hand and leading him through to the living room. Jaemin follows.

When Donghyuck offers him coffee, Jaemin shakes his head. “No, I’d like you to sit down,” he says, trying not to feel so uncertain about everything. “I need to say something, and it’s an incredibly unfair something that you probably don’t want to hear, but if I don’t say it, Donghyuck, I’m going to go out of my mind.”

He still can’t stop shaking; can’t seem to control his own body, and when Donghyuck brushes some of Jaemin’s hair back from his face, it’s all he can do not to wrap his arms around him again. “Shh,” Donghyuck whispers. “It’s okay, I’m listening. Shh.” He then smiles. “I mean, really, shush, Jisung’s asleep, please don’t wake him.”

Jaemin laughs, because of course Donghyuck’s making jokes – that’s what he always does when a friend is upset; does everything he can to make them smile again. That gives Jaemin a little comfort. He’s really his friend. He might not hate him. “Please sit down,” Jaemin whispers. Donghyuck does as he’s told, looking up at Jaemin where he stands. Jaemin tries to gather himself, trying to think about this logically. Just say it. “Okay, first of all, I’m really happy for you and Jeno. Really. I know I’ve acted like I’m not, and I know I’ve been avoiding you, but that’s not because I’m not happy for you.

“Well, it is a little. I’m happy that you make each other happy. The reason I’ve been avoiding you is that-” he swallows and takes a deep breath, because he’s nearing the hard bit “-is that it hurts to see you together.”

He closes his eyes for a second before he continues. This is the hardest thing he’s ever had to do. A lump in his throat seems to not want him to say it, but he swallows it down and looks directly at Donghyuck once more.

“Donghyuck, I’ve been in love with Jeno since I was fourteen years old.”

It’s out there, now, and he can’t take it back. Donghyuck doesn’t even seem to react, simply staring up at him with his undivided attention, his lips parted ever-so-slightly, perhaps in shock.

“I never told him, so I don’t have any right. I’ve been in love with Jeno for almost half my life and I didn’t tell him. I think that makes me the world’s most ridiculous person.

“I accepted that I wasn’t going to end up with him, because he never showed any interest in me, whatsoever. I was still in love with him, but I was content to just love him.

“And then you showed up, and stupidly I thought, hey, here’s a guy who’s funny and charming and pretty damn attractive. Let’s fall in love with him too.”

Jaemin breaks off from his speech, and sniffs loudly. Donghyuck just continues to watch him. A tear slips down his cheek, but he doesn’t wipe it away, because he needs to say this, and it’s just not important right now.

“And I did. I love you, Donghyuck. Fuck. I’m in love with you.” He huffs a short laugh, but it’s sad more than happy. He can’t believe he just said it. “I’m in love with you, and your hair, and your smile, and your absurd sense of humour, and I love Sungie, and God, I just love you.” A sob wrenches from Jaemin's throat, and he takes a deep, shaky breath.

Donghyuck gets to his feet, and Jaemin panics. Oh, God, he’s going to ask him to leave. He has to finish this.

Jaemin carries on, speaking faster now; tears flow down his face as he desperately tries to get all the words out before Donghyuck sends him away.

“I don’t expect you to say anything, or feel the same way. I know you and Jeno are really happy together and I’m not trying to ruin that, I promise. I know that this is incredibly unfair for me to say, I feel awful about it, but I needed you to hear it. I’m- I’m going to tell Jeno too. I had to start with you, because you were easier? Or at least I thought you would be, except now I’m standing in your living room crying and I’m so sorry, I’m going to go-”

“Jaemin, stop,” Donghyuck interrupts, grabbing his wrists. Jaemin freezes and turns to him, shocked. “Fuck, you couldn’t have done this while Jeno was here, could you?” Donghyuck asks, and- what? “No, that’d be far too easy. Oh, God, Jaemin, you poor thing, I’m so sorry.”

Donghyuck has started to smile, now, and Jaemin is helpless to do anything but stand there. He blinks at him, pale as anything. “Why- why are you smiling?” he asks, worried that the man is mocking him.

But Donghyuck is smiling fondly up at him as he gently tucks some of his hair behind his ear, brushing a few tears from his cheeks. Jaemin leans into the gentle touch, unable not to, craving any touch that the man gives to him. “Oh, Nana, I can’t tell you right now,” Donghyuck says, and Jaemin doesn’t understand.

He doesn’t understand at all, but then Donghyuck’s offering him his bed for the night, telling him that he’ll take the sofa, and Jaemin doesn’t know what’s happening.

“In the morning we’ll call Jeno,” Donghyuck says, sounding incredibly calm, “and we’re going to get this all sorted out.”

Jaemin just nods. He’s absolutely exhausted, but at least Donghyuck isn’t telling him to go. He’s not sure what is happening, but it’s better than he could have hoped for.

Donghyuck shows Jaemin to his room and Jaemin settles beneath the covers, leaning up against the headboard and trying not to think too much about the fact that he’s in Donghyuck’s bed.

Standing in the doorway, Donghyuck gives Jaemin one more smile. “Hey, Nana?” Jaemin looks up at him, and his heart almost stops at the sight of the man leaning against his doorpost with a small smile dancing across his lips. “It’s going to be alright.”

Jaemin wants to hide away beneath the covers, but the words spring to his lips without his say-so, and he fixes his eyes on Donghyuck and says, “I love you,” in a quiet whisper. The words sound strong in the silent flat, and it’s the only thing Jaemin is sure of right now.

Donghyuck smiles, a little sadly, at him, and Jaemin wants to turn away from the pity in his eyes. “I know,” Donghyuck says quietly, and then flicks out the light.

"I love you too."

\--

“Stay here tonight, I’ll take the sofa, and then in the morning we’ll call Jeno, and we’re going to get this all sorted out,” Donghyuck says, calm as you like. Inside, his heart is pounding, because Jaemin loves them.

Jaemin just nods, looking completely downtrodden and exhausted.

Donghyuck shows Jaemin to his room and has to fight the urge to climb into the bed with him.

Standing in the doorway, he gives Jaemin one more smile. “Hey, Nana?” The blond looks up at him, his eyes red-rimmed and sad. “It’s going to be alright.”

Jaemin sits in his bed, duvet pulled up to his stomach as he leans against the headboard, looking smaller and younger than Donghyuck has ever seen him. He looks completely unsure of everything, and when he smiles, it only looks sad, but when he fixes his eyes on Donghyuck and says, “I love you,” it sounds strong.

It’s all Donghyuck can do to not crawl into bed with him and hold him close and tell him he loves him too, but instead he just says, “I know,” quietly, and then flicks out the light. He waits until the other falls asleep to reciprocate the words.

When he makes it to the living room, he finds Jisung standing there, blinking blearily and clutching his blanket. “Papa, what’s going on?” he asks, yawning.

Donghyuck sighs softly. “Jaemin is staying here tonight,” he tells his son.

He blinks, frowning. “Can I go see him?”

Well, Donghyuck thinks, it can’t really make it worse. “Go on,” he says. “But make sure you ask before climbing right in there. If he says no, come right back, Sung.”

He nods and trots off towards his papa’s room. Donghyuck follows along, silently, and he listens at the crack in the doorway that he left when he didn’t quite manage to shut it.

“Jaemin?” he hears Jisung say, tentatively.

There’s the sound of sheets rustling, and then Jaemin saying, “Hey, Jisungie. Are you coming in?”

Donghyuck listens to his little boy clambering into bed with Jaemin.

“What’s wrong?” Jisung asks.

Jaemin sighs, heavily, and then says, slowly, “I’m in love with your papa.”

“Oh,” Jisung answers. Then, after a thoughtful pause, “If it makes you feel better, I think he loves you too.”

Donghyuck rests his forehead against the wall, closing his eyes as he listens for Jaemin’s response to that.

“Go to sleep, Sungie,” Jaemin says, at last.

Donghyuck creeps away from the door and flops down onto the sofa in the living room, exhausted. He calls Jeno.

“Donghyuck, why are you calling at 3am?” is Jeno’s tired starter when he picks up.

“Don’t come over right now, but in the morning you need to get here. Jaemin showed up at my door a little while back.” He pauses, letting Jeno grasp that, and then says, in a hushed voice, “He loves us, Jeno.”

He hears Jeno’s sharp intake of breath. “Really? He said that?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck confirms. “It sounds so beautiful,” he admits.

“Where is he now?” Jeno asks.

“In my bed with Jisung,” Donghyuck answers. “I’m sleeping on the sofa. This might sound odd, but seeing him in my bed is a really good image.”

Jeno laughs. “No, I understand that feeling; I get that with you.”

“I need to sleep; tonight has been a rollercoaster, but you need to get over here first thing tomorrow morning.”

“Thank God I have tomorrow off,” Jeno says. “Night, Hyuck.”

Donghyuck smiles. “Night, Jeno.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”


	10. Chapter 10

Jaemin can’t sleep for long, and he wakes up far too early.

Lying in Donghyuck’s bed is just too much for him; everything about it smells exactly the way the artist does.

He gets out of bed, being careful to not wake up Jisung, and heads for the kitchen. He passes Donghyuck, asleep on the sofa, and he bites his lip as he watches the soft rise and fall of the man’s chest, and the relaxed expression on his face. Idly, Jaemin wonders what it would be like to wake up to that every day. Shoving the thought aside – because only Jeno gets that privilege – he goes in search of coffee.

He has already drunk one and is on his second when Donghyuck wakes up. “I hope you don’t mind,” he says, nodding at the coffee when Donghyuck appears in the doorway.

Donghyuck leans up against the doorpost and smiles. The sight makes Jaemin want to go back to bed, and maybe take Donghyuck with him. “Not at all,” Donghyuck says, his voice an almost lazy drawl, most likely due to the early hour.

He quickly looks down at his hands, trying to stop thinking about Donghyuck in ways that he shouldn’t, and he says, “I- I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, or to make things change between you and Jeno. I’m glad you’re happy with each other.”

It’s a half-truth, and Donghyuck must know it.

Donghyuck goes across to the kettle, turning his back on him. “Jeno’s coming over at some point this morning,” Donghyuck tells him, and Jaemin mouth dries. “I called him last night.”

Jaemin stares at Donghyuck’s back, wanting to ask what he told Jeno, and Donghyuck doesn’t look at him. “Okay,” Jaemin says at last, his voice quiet.

“Is Jisung still asleep?” Donghyuck asks, turning back around, coffee in hand, and Jaemin huffs a little laugh.

“Yes, he is. I assume you sent him along to my – your – room last night?” he asks, fairly sure of the answer, and very grateful to Donghyuck for doing so.

“He asked me and I told him to ask you,” Donghyuck replies, a slight smile on his face.

“Thanks,” Jaemin says, meaning it sincerely. Then, “Can I use your shower? I look a bit of a mess and I’d like to look…” Good. Clean. Attractive? “not a mess,” he trails off lamely.

Donghyuck shows him the way to the shower, telling him where the towels are, before asking if he’d like a change of clothes too. Jaemin looks down at him at that with a slight smile, and almost laughs at their height difference. “I don’t think your clothes would fit me,” he says.

“I have some of Jeno’s clothes, too,” Donghyuck says, and Jaemin does his best not to flinch. The reason why Donghyuck has Jeno’s clothes here is clear, and it’s something that Jaemin can’t stand to think about – yet another reminder that their relationship has already progressed and Jaemin is not a part of it. “You’re about the same size, aren’t you? You could borrow those,” Donghyuck offers.

Jaemin tries not to grimace as he says, “No, thank you.”

Donghyuck seems to understand, and he just nods and gives him a quick smile before disappearing down the hall.

Jaemin makes quick work in shedding his clothes and stepping into the warm running water. He lets the water pour over his head, soaking his hair and dripping down his face. The warm water serves as something as a distraction but his mind still slips down tracks it shouldn’t. At one point he wonders how many times Donghyuck has got off in this shower, right where he stands now, and that only leads to him wondering whether Jeno has ever joined him right here, too.

Desperately, he tries to think of something – anything – else. He chooses to focus on what he’ll have to tell Jeno soon, and the fear is enough to detract from his other thoughts. His stomach does flips at the thought of facing his best friend and saying the words, “I love you,” in an entirely different way to how best friends usually say it.

\--

Donghyuck leaves him to it, desperately praying that Jeno shows up soon to take his mind off the fact that Jaemin is in his shower. The sound of running water is not at all helpful, and all Donghyuck can think about is the water trailing down Jaemin’s pale skin, soaking his hair, and-

A knock at the door pulls him out of his thoughts. Wrenching open the door, he all but throws himself into Jeno’s arms. “Thank God you’re here,” he says. “Jaemin is in the shower.”

Jeno laughs at that and gives him a quick kiss before Donghyuck pulls him inside. “How are we going to do this?” Jeno asks, and Donghyuck shrugs.

“Wing it?” he offers.

Jeno laughs. “I’d say no, but I actually think it’s our best bet.”

Donghyuck agrees. “I’ll go let him know you’re here.”

Donghyuck heads down the corridor again, to where the bathroom is and he knocks on the door. “Hey, Nana? Jeno’s here.”

\--

The nervousness increases by a tenfold, and he quickly hops out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist while he leaves the water running and goes across to the door. Opening it just a crack, he peeks out at Donghyuck, who jumps at the door opening.

“Did you tell him?” Jaemin asks, peering at him anxiously, not sure what the answer he wants is.

Donghyuck shakes his head. “No,” he says, and something akin to relief floods through Jaemin. “I thought you would want to tell him yourself. If that’s not the case, I can tell him now.”

Jaemin shakes his head. “No- no, I can do it.” He’s terrified, yes, but he gets to be the one to tell Jeno that he loves him, and that seems like an upside.

Donghyuck seems to hesitate, and then says, “Do you want to be alone, or can I be there with him?”

“You can be there,” Jaemin tells him. “You should be there,” he then corrects. He knows that Donghyuck would want to be there, but also that Donghyuck really should be there – Jaemin is about to confess to loving his boyfriend, and while he did the same thing last night without Jeno being there, it feels different.

Donghyuck turns to leave, but then Jaemin says, “Hyuck?” and he turns back.

“What is it?” He asks, stepping a little nearer, so Jaemin doesn’t have to talk very loud.

Jaemin stares at him for a moment, and the words get stuck in his throat, but he finally whispers, “I’m scared.”

Donghyuck gives him a soft smile, his eyes kind. “What did I tell you last night? It’s going to be alright, Nana. We’ll be in the living room. Take your time.”

Jaemin gives him a brisk nod before shutting the door. He goes and gets back in the shower, needing to collect himself before he can face them.

When he gets out, he dresses slowly, before staring at himself in the mirror for a time. He’s pale, and he can see plain on his face how terrified he is, but he reminds himself that it’s his best friend out there, and it brings him a little strength. Jeno has never once mocked him and he doesn’t for a second think that he will now. His only fear is that this will make things tense between them.

All he can do is pray that it won’t.

\--

Donghyuck first goes to see Jisung, who’s still curled up in bed. He tells him to stay there until he comes and gets him because he needs to talk to his friends without him listening. He nods, understandingly, asking if it’s about Jaemin. He tells him it is and he smiles.

Next he goes back to Jeno, reassured by the way he can still hear water running in the bathroom, and he tells Jeno that Jaemin thinks he doesn’t know. They sit down on the sofa together, holding hands for reassurance. Donghyuck pulls his legs up so that his knees rest on Jeno’s thigh and Jeno lets his head rest on Donghyuck’s shoulder.

They’re still sitting like that when Jaemin steps into the room, almost ten minutes later.

Donghyuck sits up straighter and gives him a big smile. Jaemin returns the smile hesitantly, and Donghyuck nudges Jeno so that he notices Jaemin.

\--

When he gets into the living room, Jeno and Donghyuck are sitting on the sofa, Donghyuck curling into his side, their hands linked.

Donghyuck sits up straighter at his arrival and gives him a big smile. It helps with his nerves and Jaemin cautiously returns the smile. Donghyuck nudges Jeno and the other man looks over to where Jaemin is standing.

“Hey, Nana,” Jeno says. Jaemin’s heart starts picking up speed and he tries to subtly take a calming breath.

“Hi, Jeno,” he replies at last, softly.

Jeno doesn’t seem to have a clue what’s going on. “Donghyuck said that it was urgent?” he asks, with a sideways glance at the man in question. “What’s going on?”

Jaemin leans up against the wall on the other side of the room, watching the two of them on the sofa carefully. His lower lip trembles just a little, and he’s sure that if he steps away from the wall he’ll collapse.

“Why don’t you come and sit down, Jaemin?” Donghyuck suggests, gently, and Jaemin can see his concern in his eyes. He’s very glad he told Donghyuck first; because there’s no way he could do this now without Donghyuck’s steadiness.

He refuses Donghyuck’s suggestion and he takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. He counts to four in his head and opens his eyes. “I need to tell you something,” he says in a rush. He looks straight at Jeno, since Donghyuck already knows, and it’s his childhood best friend that he needs to talk to right now. “Something that I probably should have told you years ago.”

Jeno tilts his head a little, seeming to be intrigued. “Go on,” he prompts.

“Okay,” Jaemin says, and then continues in a rush, “I don’t want you to think that I’m trying to break you two up, or that I’m not happy for you, because I am, I’m so happy for you, and I-”

“Jaemin,” Jeno interrupts, looking at him seriously. “Take a deep breath.” Jaemin does as he is asked, breathing out through his nose and looking at Jeno with wide eyes. Jeno gives him a smile. “Pretend it’s your opening speech for a debate, like in university. Clear, concise, calm.”

That’s part of why he loves him: Jeno always knows the right thing to say. Jaemin lifts his head a little and steps away from the wall. He faces the two men head on and smiles, finding no other way to do it, and he says, “I’m in love with you.”

He hears Jeno breathes in sharply and Jaemin continues, “I am so utterly in love with you. I have been since I was fourteen.”

“Oh, Jaemin,” Jeno breathes, and Jaemin doesn’t want to think about what he could be thinking. (Is he shocked? He must be. Pleased? Unlikely.)

“I’m not just in love with you, though,” Jaemin continues. “I’m in love with Donghyuck, too. That’s why I’m here, because I told him last night. I just needed you both to hear it, at least once, so that I could- I don’t know.” He pauses and glances between the two of them, looking at their clasped hands and he gives a half-hearted shrug. “I guess so that I could move on.”

His body slumps a little, but he’s said it, and he’s so glad they know. He can feel his eyes start to tear up a little while he fights to maintain his smile. His lower lip is trembling a little, and he’s thinking that he might fall to the floor any moment when suddenly Jeno’s on his feet, towing Donghyuck with him, and Jeno throws his arms around Jaemin, while Donghyuck echoes the action.

Jaemin stills, wrapped tightly in their arms, and his heart pounds far too fast. Tears are fast filling his eyes, threatening to spill over, and their friendship means so much to him.

Jeno shifts so that he can place his hands either side of Jaemin’s face. He presses their foreheads together. Looking into Jeno’s eyes, a tear slips down Jaemin’s face. “I’m sorry,” he whispers.

“Stop apologising,” Jeno tells him. Jaemin blinks at him, glancing sideways at Donghyuck for a second. Donghyuck looks nothing short of delighted, and Jaemin is started to feel a little confused. “You love us?” Jeno asks, hardly more than a whisper.

As his whole body shakes, sure that he’s only being kept on his feet by Jeno and Donghyuck’s hold on him, he nods. Jeno smiles, and Jaemin notices that he’s on the verge of tears too. Jeno glances away, to look at Donghyuck for a second, but Jaemin can’t bring himself to tear his eyes away from Jeno for even a second, so why he was looking, Jaemin doesn’t know. Jeno looks back at Jaemin and says with a bright smile, “That’s really great, Nana, because we love you too.”

Jaemin knees buckle underneath him and, despite the fact that both Jeno and Donghyuck are there to hold him up, they all go sinking to the floor. Shaking, his eyes jump between their thrilled faces, and he can’t believe it. He just can’t. This can’t be real. “Say that again?” he begs, needing to hear it again. It can’t be true.

“Donghyuck and I,” Jeno begins slowly, making sure that Jaemin is following his words, “are in love with you.”

Tears stream down Jaemin face as he clings to them both desperately. “You mean it?” he asks desperately. How is this real?

He looks across to Donghyuck, and there he is, beaming while tears pour down his face too. “God, Jaemin,” Donghyuck says, gripping his arm, “we love you so fucking much.”

A laugh bubbles up and out of Jaemin uncontrollably. “Oh, my God,” he laughs and he puts one hand over his mouth in an attempt to hide his grin. But Jeno and Donghyuck are both grinning too.

The three men sit on the floor, wrapped around each other, grinning madly while tears run down their faces.

“We were going to tell you,” Jeno tells him, sobering up and looking at Jaemin with sincerity. “Next week, we were going to tell you. We didn’t expect you to get there first and speak up.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Jaemin admits, his smile dropping. He thinks about the time where he thought he’d just have to accept it, keep quiet and let them get on. “It felt too selfish, but I had to because I wouldn’t be able to be around you otherwise. I felt like I was lying to you.” He had to let them know.

Jeno lifts his chin up so they’re face to face. Jaemin’s breath stutters, his heart racing. Jeno glances for a second to Donghyuck, and then he looks directly at Jaemin. Jaemin stares at him, wide-eyed. “Can I kiss you?” Jeno asks.

Jaemin lets out a whimper accidentally and nods desperately. “God, yes.”

Jeno smiles and leans in to close the gap between them.

Their lips press together, and Jaemin has wanted this forever, and it’s so much more than he had imagined. Jeno’s kiss is steady and calm, like the man himself, but when his hand moves up to twist tightly into Jaemin’s hair, Jaemin whines against his lips.

He hears Donghyuck whisper, “Holy shit,” and Jaemin pulls away to look at him, his eyes wide.

“Are you going to kiss me?” he asks, and he can’t help but smile when Donghyuck nods eagerly.

Jaemin sighs softly against him, and Donghyuck wraps one hand around the back of his neck, running his fingers through the short hairs there.

Jaemin shivers, wrapping one arm around Donghyuck’s neck and pulling him nearer.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” Jaemin whispers when they break apart, and Donghyuck murmurs, “Me too.”

Donghyuck wraps his arms around Jaemin’s waist and pulls him in for a tight hug where they sit on the floor. Jaemin moves just a little slower, wrapping his arms around Donghyuck more carefully and gently pressing his lips to the top of Donghyuck’s head.

When Donghyuck glances across at Jeno, both Jaemin and he open their arms for him, and then they’re all clinging to each other, wrapped up in each other’s arms, smiling.

“Jaemin?” Donghyuck asks, quietly. “Will you be mine and Jeno’s boyfriend?”

Jaemin almost shouts the word, “Yes!” in his enthusiasm and thrill at hearing that phrase, and Donghyuck and Jeno pull him in closer and land sloppy kisses on the corners of his mouth. Jaemin starts to laugh first, and the other two aren’t far behind. Pretty quickly, they’re not much more than a giggling pile of limbs on Donghyuck’s living room floor.

Beaming, Jaemin can’t imagine anything better than sitting here with his two boyfriends’ arms around him, but then Donghyuck yells through the flat, “Sung? Get in here,” and Jaemin grins.

The little boy comes scampering down the hallway immediately and as soon as he sets eyes on the pile on the floor he lets out a screech of happiness and launches herself at them, his curled hair tangled and a mess and a giant grin across his face.

The three men adapt their hold on each other to allow Jisung into the mix and he wriggles his way to their centre.

“Why are we all on the floor?” Jisung asks, even as he merrily takes both Jeno's and Jaemin’s hands.

“Because we’re happy,” Donghyuck replies, and Jaemin looks across at him, feeling the happiness course through his bones. 

“And why are you so happy?” he asks, looking only at his papa.

Jaemin laughs and takes that one, smiling down at the little boy in his arms. “Because he now has two super handsome boyfriends,” he says, throwing a wink at Donghyuck.

Little Jisung’s face creases in confusion for a moment. “You’re all dating?” he asks.

“Exactly,” Donghyuck confirms.

Jisung’s face lights up in a big smile once more. “Oh, I’m so glad, I really do like Jaemin,” he informs his papa, then adding, “Are you going to date Joohyun, too? I like her also.”

Donghyuck bursts out laughing, and Jaemin can feel Jeno laughing silently next to him. “No, my love,” Donghyuck says, “only these two.”

Jaemin feels a buzzing run through him at that, and he couldn’t agree more. It’s only these two. Only these ridiculous, hilarious, charming, handsome, wonderful men that are wrapped around him, for the rest of his life, he hopes.

Jisung’s face drops in disappointment for a moment before he thoughtfully says, “I suppose Joohyun has Doyoung. These two are enough.”

Jeno and Jaemin join in Donghyuck’s laughter then, giving Jisung a tight squeeze. Jaemin has his face pressed against the top of Jisung’s hair, and he grips his hand tightly. His eyes catch Jeno’s in the odd pile that they’re in and he can’t believe it – he can’t believe that he’s here. That he’s allowed to be here. That Jeno loves him. That Donghyuck loves him too.

The little family – because that’s what Jaemin supposes they are – eventually pull themselves together, and Jeno makes them all pancakes. Jaemin kisses his boyfriends at every given opportunity, making up for lost time, and neither Donghyuck nor Jeno seem to have any desire to make him stop.

Everything’s good.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Officially the end of editing. Took me a lot longer than I expected I'm sorry TT But I hope you liked it!!

**Author's Note:**

> Undergoing editing again. Just minor fixes on scenes and adding a little more details. 
> 
> Will upload chapter by chapter, should be done withing two weeks ish depending on my schedule


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